A team of players with movie star names | The Boneyard

A team of players with movie star names

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Jul 19, 2014
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Over the years I have written down interesting names (girls and boys) that made an impression on me for reasons ranging from simple elegance to parental criminality and organized them into groups. This first one is composed of female basketball players with movie star names, mellifluous monikers created by repetitive sounds. In honor of old-school women's basketball, this team starts six players. So move over Marilyn Monroe and give way to a new generation of "alluring alliterations" with no B movies on their sports resume.

I will start off with three former Huskies.

1) Laura Lishness- a star when no one was watching

2) Maya Moore- a superstar when everyone was watching

3) Cassie Kerns- I believe she was a Fine Arts major which reminds me of the two funniest lines ever spoken by a college commencement speaker when one said recently, and I paraphrase, "I have some bad news for you Fine Arts and Philosophy majors graduating here today. The only place where you are qualified to get a job is in ancient Greece." Let's hope that wherever Cassie works she is not forced to wear a toga.

4) Lisa Leslie- An elegant name for an elegant lady

5) Jasmine James, the University of Georgia- an even better shooter than Jesse

6) Raven Rogers- she played at Murrah High School with the great Ebony Felder

Honorable mention:

7) Char-pei Chen, the University of California at Irvine- It's not Lucy Liu but a keeper all the same.

8) Felesia Fode, Washington State University- the northwest shows some serious chops.

9) Delmonica DeHorney, the University of Arkansas all-American- Just kidding about this one. But cry not for Delmonica, she has steaked a legal claim on another team.

In closing, Southern Cal's former well-rounded player, Jenny Circle, asked for a waiver to appear on this team due to her proximity to Hollywood. But I told her what I told former Von Steuben High School star Shonte Clay asking for the same exemption, "no Dice."

This team will be coached by Muffet McGraw because everyone needs a mom (Muffet O'Brien McGraw).
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