A Few UCONN Issues | The Boneyard
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A Few UCONN Issues

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Ozzie Nelson

RIP, Ozzie
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A few small issues for UCONN, according to my crack sources…


Negative images of Harry Gampel Pavilion, named after a hirsute pet gerbil, continue to dog attendance and recruiting.

Absurd victory margins are seen as bogus cover-ups for inability to win close games, a situation that could be reflected in preseason rankings.

Team Roster is only 9, not enough for a Minyan, thus offending many Jewish fans. On campus group, The Hillel Hoopsters, is set to protest.

Geno’s in game use of hair spray is fueling the tough guy vs closet sissy debate.

UCONN rule of “NO BONEYARD” during the season will be challenged by Boneyard Modsquad, and HuskyBill will be sent to Athletic Dept for a short meeting.
 
Team Roster is only 9, not enough for a Minyan, thus offending many Jewish fans. On campus group, The Hillel Hoopsters, is set to protest.

Oz, your crack inside sources need to have their ears checked. The issue was not a Minyan, it was the Husky Minivans which cannot transport the team in one vehicle. And when full of eight team members Minivan cannot get up the hill et al and so no hoopsters arrive in Philly when Geno sent them to Gimble's.
 
Don't forget all that time spent away from classes due to playing in Sweet Sixteens, Elite Eights, Final Fours and National Championship games. Unlike many teams who's players get to go back to class early in the post season.
 
Also, UConn last year was only a partial final champion since Elon coach Charlotte Smith didn't think the team was any higher than 2nd-level in the final USA Today rankings, and I always give precedence to the opinions of NC folk, having picked up tips from certain waiters that people from Durham, NC and the state in general are especially wise. So this year the Huskies need to prove they can move to the next level and convince even the picky NCers that they are worthy.

Ironically, the last time a team won the NC and was not a unanimous pick in the final rankings was 2010-11 when 5-loss Texas A&M was missing a top-spot honor that went instead to UConn. 8-loss runner-up ND did at least get the 2nd spot back then, whereas Louisville was #3 at the end of last year.
 
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