OT: how to not blow my life savings on my wedding

[UConnTrumbull]

Yep, so I'm getting married. Looking for tips to save money. Any little piece of info helps.

I already know the top comment is "don't get married" but we all know that's still coming.

 

[methodology]

Go to town hall. Save money for down payment on house

 

[Letsgohuskies11]

dont get married

 

[Jaker]

Go to Vegas

 

[BigErnMcCracken]

Do a destination wedding with immediate family and a couple close friends willing to travel on their own dime. People won't be offended they weren't invited and you basically pay for a nice little vacation. Friend of mine did that in South America and it was a blast.

 

[Huskybass]

LIVE IT UP. Have a blast. You have the rest of your life to make and save money.

 

[boog204]

Elope or destination... If you HAVE to have the whole formal wedding thing, then go small. My wife and I did 75 people; basically all family and then had an afterparty with our friends at the casino. Win-win for everyone and it did not completely bankroll us.

 

[jleves]

Yep, so I'm getting married. Looking for tips to save money. Any little piece of info helps.

I already know the top comment is "don't get married" but we all know that's still coming.

We would have to know a few details:
1) How old are you and your spouse?
2) Is this both your first weddings?
3) Is father of the bride going to pay for stuff?
4) Is a formal wedding/reception expected and/or required?
5) If those things are required, how many people do you expect to invite?
6) If those things are required, what level are you going for (super formal, formal, backyard)?
7) What kind of jobs do you both have and what are your future expected earnings (if you are young/first wedding)?

 

[superjohn]

Do a destination wedding with immediate family and a couple close friends willing to travel on their own dime. People won't be offended they weren't invited and you basically pay for a nice little vacation. Friend of mine did that in South America and it was a blast.

BigErn is right, it's a no-brainer. You're basically just paying for a kickarse vacation for you and your wife. Your family and closest friends will also like the impetus to go on a nice vacation.

 

[Zorro]

If you are marrying a woman who insists on a full-tilt-boogie, big splash wedding, you are already in serious trouble.

 

[Chin Diesel]

1. Guests will eat as much as you feed them. Go with a late morning or early afternoon ceremony and reception.
2. Guests will drink as much as you give them. I'm a firm believer in open bar. Guests pay plenty to show up; give them a few drinks. With that in mind, limit it to one or two beers, a red and white wine and 3-4 types of liquor.
3. Keep the wedding party smaller.
4. Enjoy it. It's impossible to justify the cost you spend since, as others have mentioned, you can do it for a few bucks at gov't office. Ceremony and reception are a celebration and a sign of gratitude to family and friends who made your wedding possible.

 

[UconnFanNVa]

We eloped... cost next to nothing. Do the town hall thing and then do a big back yard reception type thing.

 

[Phorcys]

Go to town hall. Save money for down payment on house

Eloping isn’t always a cheap alternative.

My ex-wife and I eloped at City Hall on December 31st, partially to avoid the expense of a wedding, but more so to ensure I would never forget the date of our anniversary and to provide us an excuse to avoid any objectionable New Year’s Eve parties, like the ones my employer at the time threw. Big mistake. We were subject to the marriage penalty, such that waiting until January 2nd would have saved us a couple thousand dollars in income taxes. (The IRS counts you as being married for the entire year, regardless of when you wed.)

It’s important to always consider the tax consequences of anything you do.

Another example…

Early on in our marriage, my ex was on a month-long assignment in Rio de Janeiro for her then employer. Her company followed a policy that for any out-of-town engagement longer than two weeks they would pay to either fly the employee home or their spouse to their location. So, we thought it would be a nice way for me to get a free long weekend in Brazil and a rare opportunity to fly first-class. It wound up being a very expensive long-weekend. The $6,000 flight counted as taxable income, since I was the one taking the flight and not my ex, which led to us paying about $2,000 more in taxes that year.

 

[ZenConn]

Go to Vegas

Let these guys take care of your wedding in Vegas.

How To Get Married At The Taco Bell In Las Vegas

 

[Horatio]

We went to a justice of the peace and then went to east Africa for two weeks. Four kids later and we'll probably do a small "wedding " for our 20th anniversary. Save your money and buy some property.

 

[BigErnMcCracken]

My brother and his wife were young and broke when they got married and they did a long weekend in New York with about 20 friends and family. Welcome dinner Thursday night that I picked up that tab for, men and women went out separately in NY Friday night, and they did the ceremony in Central Park on Saturday with no permit. The "reception" was basically a dinner in the private dining room of the restaurant he was cooking at at the time. Whole thing cost them next to nothing.

Also, incidentally, it was the first and only time in my life I threw up purely from overeating.

 

[HooperScooper]

Set a budget. Let your fiancé pick out her dress, the bridesmaids dresses and the flowers. Don't let her have any other input. She'll blow the budget in a heartbeat.

 

[tzznandrew]

Yep, so I'm getting married. Looking for tips to save money. Any little piece of info helps.

I already know the top comment is "don't get married" but we all know that's still coming.

@Chin Diesel is right here. We did a brunch wedding (11-4). We had 4 people on each side of the wedding party. And our wedding was 110 people. We had free wine and beer, and a mimosa fountain (other drinks were cash bar, but we were short on cash). My wife is crafty, so we did design a lot of things ourselves, but it was a fun wedding with lots of little quirks (photobooth and somesuch). Cost us around $6k, and we got all that back and more from wedding gifts. And everyone had a blast.

Then, after the wedding was "over" anyone who wanted to keep partying went back to my parent's place and we partied there, for the afternoon on the cheap. We partied essentially from 11 am until 2 am the next day. It was amazing and worth the money.

 

[boog204]

1. Guests will eat as much as you feed them. Go with a late morning or early afternoon ceremony and reception.
2. Guests will drink as much as you give them. I'm a firm believer in open bar. Guests pay plenty to show up; give them a few drinks. With that in mind, limit it to one or two beers, a red and white wine and 3-4 types of liquor.
3. Keep the wedding party smaller.
4. Enjoy it. It's impossible to justify the cost you spend since, as others have mentioned, you can do it for a few bucks at gov't office. Ceremony and reception are a celebration and a sign of gratitude to family and friends who made your wedding possible.

+5 on everything from straight experience... The first two points especially!

1) My wife and I did a "Sunday Brunch" wedding. Most venues have very few events on Sunday's so they'll give you a great deal. An added bonus is that "brunch" food is often times vastly superior in an on-site catering place. We had an omelet bar, french toast, endless bacon. Food was absolutely delicious and was different enough to be memorable. And like I said, we did our "fun" reception at the casino late night with all of the friends who we would have wanted to invite but essentially did not want to pay for. They were down to be themselves and party with us at a cool place and our "gifts" were them buying us drinks and hanging out.
2) We did do an open bar but did "themed" drinks; I think there was a simple beer or two, wine, and then a couple of cocktails. The guest liked the themed stuff as it was brunch style mimosas etc...

 

[Chin Diesel]

+5 on everything from straight experience... The first two points especially!

1) My wife and I did a "Sunday Brunch" wedding. Most venues have very few events on Sunday's so they'll give you a great deal. An added bonus is that "brunch" food is often times vastly superior in an on-site catering place. We had an omelet bar, french toast, endless bacon. Food was absolutely delicious and was different enough to be memorable. And like I said, we did our "fun" reception at the casino late night with all of the friends who we would have wanted to invite but essentially did not want to pay for. They were down to be themselves and party with us at a cool place and our "gifts" were them buying us drinks and hanging out.
2) We did do an open bar but did "themed" drinks; I think there was a simple beer or two, wine, and then a couple of cocktails. The guest liked the themed stuff as it was brunch style mimosas etc...

+1 on boog204's suggestion for off days or out of season dates getting good deals.

 

[Hoophound]

I like the desitination wedding. We did that and it was awesome. We rented a huge house in the mountains with a commercial kitchen and then invited close friends and family to stay with us. It was great because it was a days long celebration and when everyone left, we had the gorgeous house to ourselves. We did the rehearsal dinner at a great restaurant and the reception dinner at another with our parents gladly picking up the tab both times. We had flowers delivered and let my mother fulfill her dream of making a wedding cake. (It looked like an old fashioned cake, not perfect like a typical wedding cake, but rustic and classy). My wife still says that she loves that my mom made the cake, it was special.

I was incredibly relieved not to have a spectacle type wedding like most of my friends did. It just isn't my style. I was much happier having the wedding, going to dinner and heading back to the house to put on jeans and a sweater for a party around the fire pit. No pressure of packing for a honeymoon elsewhere, we were already there.

We arrived Thursday, got married Saturday, relaxed with friends and family Sunday and Monday they all headed home while we stayed for another 5 days or so. Great concept, the key is to make your lady think it is awesome by coming up with the right place to have it and a couple creative things that make it unique and charming.

 

[husky99]

Do a destination wedding with immediate family and a couple close friends willing to travel on their own dime. People won't be offended they weren't invited and you basically pay for a nice little vacation. Friend of mine did that in South America and it was a blast.

This solution. Will cost you 8000 to 10000 instead of 30 to 50k. Some of your family will be pissed who cares

 

[Ewekon]

Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. 50/50 you will anyway.

 

[CL82]

Sleeves are surprisingly expensive. Eliminate them for easy savings:

Jeans with [excrement] kickers are optional.

Use the money you save to spend on the venue. Every woman wants to feel like a princess. Have the reception at a castle:

 

[Devland]

I paid for my daughters reception. They paid all the other expenses. It cost me around 19k. They received around 25k in cash wedding gifts. If you invite the right people you can turn a profit. lol