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I'll preface this by saying I'm no MakersMuppet and I'm generally bad a writing stuff, but I do have the occasional not dumb ideas...
Exhibit A - I'm taking credit for last year's nerdy mojo
I think I also figured out the key this year to whatever it is that we have now with our prodigal judge and nebulous mojo that may or may not be a thing at the bottom of our sacreds/miller lite tall boys or tucked in with that half eaten basket of wings...we've figured out how to steal from the elite college programs of our time.
Take for example, the powerhouse that is Rutgers. Chosen amongst the most prestigious and elite of the elite to join the mighty B10 with their unstoppable football program and basketball factory churning out $1B+ in player earnings. Pay attention not to those scrubs on the right...they were nothing without the truly great pedigreed coaching they received. Where and when they received it is trivial, it's the who they received it from the matters...Rutgers
Some guy named Cam Spencer was on track to crank that number up to at least $2B, but then that scrappy program in CT came along and stole him with promises of NIL riches and maybe some other stuff in some little catholic school conference. And from that thievery, out came a 1st team BE 50/40/90 monster, who likes to talk a little smack along the way.
Next you've got the premier program in the Carolinas...which Carolina are they from you might ask? Don't worry about it that's not important. Which sport are they premier at? Don't worry about that either, I think it's baseball...or maybe football once or twice. Which school am I talking about? Obviously the mighty ECU pirates (they're the pirates...right?). Some dude named Tristan Newton was lighting up that same CT school in that conference with all the teams that play in high school gyms that I can't/won't remember. So what does that little CT school do? They go and steal him, too. Out pops a 1st Team AA who's already got bored w/ just 1 NC and decides he's going to come back and go for 2
And finally...the greatest steal of them all. From the true power program in New England, makers of at least a couple NCAA tournaments in the last quarter century, keepers of the banners filled with all the NIT visits, the one...the only...your PC Friars. From their fortress of an arena - the ZAP...er POW...no that's not right...AMP! that's it, that's the one - came the fiery sing along anthem from that chick that's dating Travis Kelce. Clearly a program of this caliber could be the one and only team to play this legendary track...so what did that little school from CT do? They stole that, too. Cling Kong said, that's my jam, and he karaoke'd that all the way to a BE regular season title.
There you have it. The reason for our domination this year? In the immortal words of Stumpy, we did it the old fashioned way...we stole it from the eskimos. We'll lie, cheat and steal from the true great programs of our day so that we can bring home yet another "lucky", "flukey", "boring" NC that doesn't count as much as a truly great one that some ACC school wins, because reasons.
So it starts with Xavier...I don't know what they have to steal, but let's go take it!
Exhibit A - I'm taking credit for last year's nerdy mojo
I think I also figured out the key this year to whatever it is that we have now with our prodigal judge and nebulous mojo that may or may not be a thing at the bottom of our sacreds/miller lite tall boys or tucked in with that half eaten basket of wings...we've figured out how to steal from the elite college programs of our time.
Take for example, the powerhouse that is Rutgers. Chosen amongst the most prestigious and elite of the elite to join the mighty B10 with their unstoppable football program and basketball factory churning out $1B+ in player earnings. Pay attention not to those scrubs on the right...they were nothing without the truly great pedigreed coaching they received. Where and when they received it is trivial, it's the who they received it from the matters...Rutgers
Some guy named Cam Spencer was on track to crank that number up to at least $2B, but then that scrappy program in CT came along and stole him with promises of NIL riches and maybe some other stuff in some little catholic school conference. And from that thievery, out came a 1st team BE 50/40/90 monster, who likes to talk a little smack along the way.
Next you've got the premier program in the Carolinas...which Carolina are they from you might ask? Don't worry about it that's not important. Which sport are they premier at? Don't worry about that either, I think it's baseball...or maybe football once or twice. Which school am I talking about? Obviously the mighty ECU pirates (they're the pirates...right?). Some dude named Tristan Newton was lighting up that same CT school in that conference with all the teams that play in high school gyms that I can't/won't remember. So what does that little CT school do? They go and steal him, too. Out pops a 1st Team AA who's already got bored w/ just 1 NC and decides he's going to come back and go for 2
And finally...the greatest steal of them all. From the true power program in New England, makers of at least a couple NCAA tournaments in the last quarter century, keepers of the banners filled with all the NIT visits, the one...the only...your PC Friars. From their fortress of an arena - the ZAP...er POW...no that's not right...AMP! that's it, that's the one - came the fiery sing along anthem from that chick that's dating Travis Kelce. Clearly a program of this caliber could be the one and only team to play this legendary track...so what did that little school from CT do? They stole that, too. Cling Kong said, that's my jam, and he karaoke'd that all the way to a BE regular season title.
There you have it. The reason for our domination this year? In the immortal words of Stumpy, we did it the old fashioned way...we stole it from the eskimos. We'll lie, cheat and steal from the true great programs of our day so that we can bring home yet another "lucky", "flukey", "boring" NC that doesn't count as much as a truly great one that some ACC school wins, because reasons.
So it starts with Xavier...I don't know what they have to steal, but let's go take it!
