Uh Oh The Over-coddled Soft Generation In WCBB

[RockyMTblue2]

"The data shows that since Summitt left coaching in 2011, women athletes have become more anxious, more prone to depression, less adult, and more insecure than ever before. What is up with that?

According to a 2016 NCAA survey, 76 percent of all Division I women athletes said they would like to go home to their moms and dads more often, and 64 percent said they communicate with their parents at least once a day, a number that rises to 73 percent among women’s basketball players. And nearly a third reported feeling overwhelmed."

A lengthy, well written piece explores what is going on. Perspective | Women’s college athletes don’t need another coddling parent. They need a coach.

"Social psychologists say these numbers aren’t surprising, but rather reflect a larger trend in all college students that is attributable at least in part to a culture of hovering parental-involvement, participation trophies, and constant connectivity via smartphones and social media, which has not made adolescents more secure and independent, but less."

"At the same time, accompanying this anxiety, iGens have unrealistic expectations and exaggerated opinions of themselves. Nearly 60 percent of high school students say they expect to get a graduate degree — when just 9 to 10 percent actually will. And 47 percent of Division I women’s basketball players think it’s at least “somewhat likely” they will play professional or Olympic ball, but the reality? The WNBA drafts just 36 players, 0.9 percent."

To me it suggests a rationale for all the transfers. Kids not seeing the realities of their situation move on to a coach who they think "will get them and their true worth."

 

[KnightBridgeAZ]

Sad, but true, I'm sure. I am often reminded of the kid's program, in England IIRC, that encourages them to play "with fire", in mud, on hills that you can fall on, etc. It was shown on some sort of 60 minutes type show. There are adults present who, rather unobtrusively, make sure they don't immolate themselves, but the idea is to expose them to reality, not the super sanitary and safe playgrounds of today.

 

[willtalk]

Sort of just wrote a post along this very line on the DD transfer thread. Our society tends to promote "immediate gradification " rather achievement via patience and hard work.

 

[Bestiarius]

I see it in my grand kids and their friends, (well, they're only 6 - 9 years old, but still) all way too dependent on their parents. I remember writing to my parents when I first went away to school the result of which forced me to get a part time job playing bass in a band for spending cash.

I wrote, "No mon, no fun - Your Son." To which my father wrote back, "So sad, too bad - Your Dad

 

[oldude]

Sadly the Greatest Generation is long gone. But the problem doesn't start with our kids. It starts with those of us who have failed to challenge them, spend quality time with them and have outsourced raising them to tv and the internet.

On the other hand, some of us took the time to read to our kids, take them to the park to climb on the jungle gym and set realistic limits to tv watching and the use of electronics. Those kids tend to be more self-reliant, confident and happier with their lives.

 

[Bigboote]

Sally Jenkins wrote: "At Nebraska, Connie Yori, was the 2010 coach of the year and took the Cornhuskers to a Big 12 regular season title, a Big Ten tournament title and seven NCAA tournaments in 14 years, before she quit last season in the wake of complaints that she was “overly critical” of players, and made them weigh themselves."

Wow. . . There are any number of reasons to weigh athletes, some concerned with safety (before and after practice to keep electrolyte levels safe). I always thought coach Yori got a raw deal, but had no idea that weighing players was one of the complaints.

 

[bags27]

Sadly the Greatest Generation is long gone. But the problem doesn't start with our kids. It starts with those of us who have failed to challenge them, spend quality time with them and have outsourced raising them to tv and the internet.
On the other hand, some of us took the time to read to our kids, take them to the park to climb on the jungle gym and set realistic limits to tv watching and the use of electronics. Those kids tend to be more self-reliant, confident and happier with their lives.

If we are generalizing beyond female student-athletes to the whole generation, I tend to agree with Oldude. I do think we parents have a lot to answer for when it comes to this clearly more anxious, approval-seeking generation.

But also:
1. The economic collapse of 2008 was deeply traumatic, and the world is far, far from out of the woods on that. And meanwhile, the transformation of the economy, with robots replacing people, undermines the essential worth of work, and yet puts tremendous stress on kids to get the "best" education and be most competitive.
2. the social media revolution, which offers electronic community over real community, and public display of a perfect life or experience obligatory, therefore maybe makes the need to make real connections to us parents even greater.

I was reading a semi-biographical novel last night of interwar (WW I and II) Austria, and the author, Stefan Zweig, was calling the period the greatest transformation in recent history. It got me thinking that this "greatest transformation" actually occurs more often than we think. Probably, we're going through the greatest one since the 1950s/60s right now, with economic, global, and technological changes creating a whole lot of stress. But unlike us 1960s kids who defied our parents, these kids want to please us. I honestly don't know if we can say one is "better" or "worse" or what that even means. It will take 30 years or so to know.

 

[oldude]

If we are generalizing beyond female student-athletes to the whole generation, I tend to agree with Oldude. I do think we parents have a lot to answer for when it comes to this clearly more anxious, approval-seeking generation.

But also:
1. The economic collapse of 2008 was deeply traumatic, and the world is far, far from out of the woods on that. And meanwhile, the transformation of the economy, with robots replacing people, undermines the essential worth of work, and yet puts tremendous stress on kids to get the "best" education and be most competitive.
2. the social media revolution, which offers electronic community over real community, and public display of a perfect life or experience obligatory, therefore maybe makes the need to make real connections to us parents even greater.

I was reading a semi-biographical novel last night of interwar (WW I and II) Austria, and the author, Stefan Zweig, was calling the period the greatest transformation in recent history. It got me thinking that this "greatest transformation" actually occurs more often than we think. Probably, we're going through the greatest one since the 1950s/60s right now, with economic, global, and technological changes creating a whole lot of stress. But unlike us 1960s kids who defied our parents, these kids want to please us. I honestly don't know if we can say one is "better" or "worse" or what that even means. It will take 30 years or so to know.

Bags, always impressed by your ability to weave History, Sociology, Economics, Psychology, etc into just about any BY thread.

Clearly your parents knew to shut off the tv.

 

[DaddyChoc]

2011... just about the time Social Media became popular world -wide.

 

[TitleTown]

In June of 1944 college aged men stormed the beaches of Normandy and many gave the ultimate sacrifice bravely fighting.
In June of 2017 college aged men are "triggered" and need their "safe spaces" because "words hurt".

Really sad how far we have fallen!

 

[triaddukefan]

oh boy

 

[Waquoit]

Sadly the Greatest Generation is long gone.

I think you can trace what is being called a "soft" generation back to the sins of the greatest generation. The greatest generation was full of lousy fathers that drank too much and were overly authoritarian. That produced baby boomers who weren't going to have their kids put up with the same crap from lousy teachers that they were forced to. They were going to be stronger advocates for their children than the greatest generation. Perhaps things went out of balance the other way.

 

[Gus Mahler]

It starts with those of us who have failed to challenge them, spend quality time with them and have outsourced raising them to tv and the internet.

And school teachers.

 

[RockyMTblue2]

And school teachers.

Many teachers are frankly worn down by Johnny and Janey's parents, who jump all over them if they try to hold their kids accountable.

 

[Bigboote]

Many teachers are frankly worn down by Johnny and Janey's parents, who jump all over them if they try to hold their kids accountable.

And the opposite: they can't be substitute parents to 20-30 kids.

 

[SVCBeercats]

I think you can trace what is being called a "soft" generation back to the sins of the greatest generation. The greatest generation was full of lousy fathers that drank too much and were overly authoritarian. That produced baby boomers who weren't going to have their kids put up with the same crap from lousy teachers that they were forced to. They were going to be stronger advocates for their children than the greatest generation. Perhaps things went out of balance the other way.

It did. However, there are a lot of really good kids out there. This article focuses on the pampered athletes. What else would you expect? This is why Geno constantly harps on how hard it is to find "UCONN" kids. As an IT consultant a client requested I "fix" his IT organization. Bottomline I fired most of the slackers, mostly young people, all of the rest of the slackers simply stopped coming to work. I replaced them with young people, young people who wanted an opportunity to succeed. Not all had a college degree but clearly had brains and the proper attitude. If they had no degree, they had to enroll in a local college in order to acquire a degree for their own good and future. They did a great job of turning the place around. After two years half of the management were some of the same young people. I suggested who should replace me and moved on. Not all of the parents failed.

 

[Gus Mahler]

Many teachers are frankly worn down by Johnny and Janey's parents, who jump all over them if they try to hold their kids accountable.

True. My point has to do with teachers having to teach such basic things as please and thank you, wait your turn in line, don't have sex, etc. Surrogate parents.

Teachers are supposed to be learnin' 'em up, not raisin' 'em up.

 

[triaddukefan]

True. My point has to do with teachers having to teach such basic things as please and thank you, wait your turn in line, don't have sex, etc. Surrogate parents.

Teachers are supposed to be learnin' 'em up, not raisin' 'em up.

And teachers cant even dish out corporal punishment anymore...... These kids these days deserve some corporal punishment.

 

[BroadwayVa]

Sadly the Greatest Generation is long gone. But the problem doesn't start with our kids. It starts with those of us who have failed to challenge them, spend quality time with them and have outsourced raising them to tv and the internet.

On the other hand, some of us took the time to read to our kids, take them to the park to climb on the jungle gym and set realistic limits to tv watching and the use of electronics. Those kids tend to be more self-reliant, confident and happier with their lives.

E

Sadly the Greatest Generation is long gone. But the problem doesn't start with our kids. It starts with those of us who have failed to challenge them, spend quality time with them and have outsourced raising them to tv and the internet.

On the other hand, some of us took the time to read to our kids, take them to the park to climb on the jungle gym and set realistic limits to tv watching and the use of electronics. Those kids tend to be more self-reliant, confident and happier with their lives.

Old dude---If you were around and old enough to hear and understand (I was)in the late thirties you would have heard the old bitties--complaining about those jitterbugging gum chewing teens without a care in the world--are going to hell--in a hand basket.

Bags and his ancient history knowledge --should pull up one of the great thinkers of about 1000 BC complaining of young people sounding a lot like those writing in this thread.

Those jitterbugging gum chewing young twerps saved the western world--and then created, the kids they wanted--those that didn't have to worry about starving todeath, to have a bed and more and get the education they were excluded from getting- until the GI Bill-blame the Greatest Gen--or accept each generation is being complained about by the previous Gen.



I agree with the bit --these kids will do better with a coach that maked demands of them--all people do even The Greatest Gen did. Kids and humans live up and down to the expectations of them.

 

[Carnac]

I see it in my grand kids and their friends, (well, they're only 6 - 9 years old, but still) all way too dependent on their parents. I remember writing to my parents when I first went away to school the result of which forced me to get a part time job playing bass in a band for spending cash.

I wrote, "No mon, no fun - Your Son." To which my father wrote back, "So sad, too bad - Your Dad

I see it too in my grand kid's peers and teammates and they're 16 & 20 years old. The attitudes and "it's all about me, mine, and what I can get" is astonishing. Our girl's high school varsity head coach retired (from coaching, still teaching) at the of this past season. He said he couldn't take it anymore.

The girls are becoming more resistant to coaching and unwilling to play team ball (defense). Their parents and family members are becoming more obnoxious (coaching their child from the stands, and berating the officials on what seems like every play) than ever before.

 

[BroadwayVa]

In Tolland, I coached CYO and Little League basketball--and some of those parent were into how to coach or who and when to play up to their ears---Many of the young parents are now grand parents or great grand parents---The only difference in the "hovering" parents and those parents is: the parents of the 60 had enough trouble making a living to be in every activity their kids were in volved in. It was the economy stupid.

 

[donalddoowop]

I see it too in my grand kid's peers and teammates and they're 16 & 20 years old. The attitudes and "it's all about me, mine, and what I can get" is astonishing. Our girl's high school varsity head coach retired (from coaching, still teaching) at the of this past season. He said he couldn't take it anymore.

The girls are becoming more resistant to coaching and unwilling to play team ball (defense). Their parents and family members are becoming more obnoxious (coaching their child from the stands, and berating the officials on what seems like every play) than ever before.

That is just one reason I stopped coaching and officiating. ESPN focusing on players showing off does not help either.

 

[bags27]

From my post above, you can see that I don't dispute some of the broad characterizations of this generation.

But let's remember that this very board is part of the problem. We focus on teenagers (even commenting on 9th graders), following their twitter accounts, worrying over which potential college comes first on their tweets or what college t-shirt they're wearing that day, etc. etc. And then we, as does the rest of society, lionize the college players well beyond their actual social importance. Kids used to grow up pretty much unobserved, and yes, we are right to say that they are now self-conscience and self-promoting. But aren't we all participating in making that so?

 

[willtalk]

The "Greatest Generations" biggest problem is that the did not understand or appreciate what made them Great. They wanted more for their children than they had, not realizing that more often produces less. I grew up in the fifties and remember it very well. Families revolved around the kids. They were not only economically indulged but emotionally as well. Parents often attempt to live out their unfulfilled wishes and desires in their children. This is usually a mistake. The GG seemed to believe they were short shifted and so they attempted to give their children what they felt they had themselves been denied. Not recognizing it was their hardships that created their character and that their indulging their children would have the opposite effect in character development as well. So they created an entitled Generation who is so self centered that they don't even go through the motions of caring for what is best for their children.

 

[cohenzone]

Sort of just wrote a post along this very line on the DD transfer thread. Our society tends to promote "immediate gradification " rather achievement via patience and hard work.

My wife and I do workshops basically aimed at foster kids, where the so-called adult success rate is about 4% and for those who go on to higher education, the drop outvrate is over 90%. The main emphasis is that the kids need to be taught to develop "grit" which means the ability to stick with something through adversity, knowing that success typically is not immediate.

Of course it's more than just that and foster kids there a lot of other issues beyond the usual maturation issues. But the broader point is applicable to all kids. It is definitely an instant gratification, short attention span world now. And the social media absolutely works against developing independence and self-reliance.

Is the issue identified for women hoopsrers any different from
male hoopstets? How much greater is the drop out or transfer rate than within the overall student population? Do kids in general call home more? When I went to UConn decades ago, it had a reputation as a suitcase school, kids often heading home for the weekend, something I rarely did even though I had a close relationship with my family. Called home maybe once a week and valued the social life at school. So a lot of students even in the 1960s stayed pretty tied to mom and dad.