- Joined
- Aug 24, 2011
- Messages
- 11,424
- Reaction Score
- 30,941
This season, the ocean has been rocky. Our ship has bounced through the storms. Saint James and his back surgery. Blaney steering the ship with an uneasy hand. Boatright’s trials and tribulations with the NCAA. Good wins and bad losses. And here we are. Sitting on the bow of this ship, staring at the horizon and searching for that sight of the Promised Land once again.
Many of you have emailed me or posted your suggestions for this year. Some have recounted in reverence the Sheen Maelstrom of Winning Mojo that we all experienced last season. As I sit here, looking down at all of you from my esteemed bench, I will make you wait no longer. Over 3 National Championship runs, I have found the formula to be successful when you select thick headed, stupid gorillas with no sense of humor. Posters who have no idea what’s happening to them, ignoring the sentence and the firestorm that is unleashed down upon them.
Hangee #1 – Butchy. Thick head? Check. Know it all attitude? Check. Unfunny? Check. I need someone to warm up the gallows and, lucky for Mr Butchy, his neck is just the right size for Hangman Swami’s piano wire noose.
Hangee #2 – HuskyHawk. Earlier this week, in the thread “In your bracket, how far does UConn go?”, he posted:
First off, I don’t like the part that says “if they can even beat Iowa St”. Second of all, he picked us to lose to Calipari. I’m not sure I can fathom a more disgusting transgression against the fine people of the Yard. I’d rank that even behind Fatso Dogfather and his traitorous pizza fueled follies. Lastly? Take your split allegiances and go hang out on a Kansas board. We don’t need you here. We’ve got a job to do.
The Sentence
As for the sentence? It thrills The Judge to see a theme amongst the posts here over the last couple days. I was discussing the proceedings with Hangman Swami last week and said “I think Suzy’s onto something with this Animal House thing”. Then, earlier today, August_West and SubbaBub reinforced the obvious mantra we will ride this March.
We’re the National Goddamned Champs and NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE DECIDE IT IS.
Double secret probation? Got it.
0.00 Grade Point Averages? Got those too.
From this point forward, the Boneyard is your Delta House. And we don't go down until the Deathmobile is charging down Main St and 10,000 marbles are rolling around in the gutters.
Many of you have emailed me or posted your suggestions for this year. Some have recounted in reverence the Sheen Maelstrom of Winning Mojo that we all experienced last season. As I sit here, looking down at all of you from my esteemed bench, I will make you wait no longer. Over 3 National Championship runs, I have found the formula to be successful when you select thick headed, stupid gorillas with no sense of humor. Posters who have no idea what’s happening to them, ignoring the sentence and the firestorm that is unleashed down upon them.
Hangee #1 – Butchy. Thick head? Check. Know it all attitude? Check. Unfunny? Check. I need someone to warm up the gallows and, lucky for Mr Butchy, his neck is just the right size for Hangman Swami’s piano wire noose.
Hangee #2 – HuskyHawk. Earlier this week, in the thread “In your bracket, how far does UConn go?”, he posted:
“Losing to Kentucky. As a fan/alumn of two teams (Huskies always my #1) I can afford to play the homer with the other team this year, and picked the Jayhawks to cut down the nets. The really great part is that I will be pretty damned excited if they can even beat Iowa St. If they manage to beat Kentucky....that's it, my season is complete. I don't need anything more from this group.”
First off, I don’t like the part that says “if they can even beat Iowa St”. Second of all, he picked us to lose to Calipari. I’m not sure I can fathom a more disgusting transgression against the fine people of the Yard. I’d rank that even behind Fatso Dogfather and his traitorous pizza fueled follies. Lastly? Take your split allegiances and go hang out on a Kansas board. We don’t need you here. We’ve got a job to do.
The Sentence
As for the sentence? It thrills The Judge to see a theme amongst the posts here over the last couple days. I was discussing the proceedings with Hangman Swami last week and said “I think Suzy’s onto something with this Animal House thing”. Then, earlier today, August_West and SubbaBub reinforced the obvious mantra we will ride this March.
We’re the National Goddamned Champs and NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE DECIDE IT IS.
Double secret probation? Got it.
0.00 Grade Point Averages? Got those too.
From this point forward, the Boneyard is your Delta House. And we don't go down until the Deathmobile is charging down Main St and 10,000 marbles are rolling around in the gutters.
