Seeking advice from Youth Soccer parents on jumping to another club | The Boneyard

Seeking advice from Youth Soccer parents on jumping to another club

Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
How many of you have switched your kids from one Premier level club to another?

Why did you do it?

Thinking of doing it for a few reasons:

1. Club stability. Our current club lost 3 decent players this summer, and looking ahead, they have enough for a team next year, but they did a lot of losing, and the future is murky.

2. Coaching. The other club we're looking at was better managed even though the talent level was nearly the same. So the new club will have better coaching, but perhaps not better training (our club preaches possession, short passes, defense while the new club is hyperaggressive, attack mode).

3. Familiarity. My daughter gets along well with the coach and the other girls on the current team. There is only one pain-in-the-butt parent on our sidelines, but I always stand very far away from him.

So, I see #1 and #2 in favor of the new club, #3 in favor of the current club, and after a couple of weeks of stewing on this, we are still 50/50 on the decision, with tryouts happening tonight and Sunday. In other words, we're running out of time.
 
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,483
Reaction Score
5,510
My kids are a big step below your daughter, so take this with a grain of salt. They could make C teams which I'm not a fan of when you have a good local club. YOU CAN STOP READING IF YOU ONLY WANT SOMEONE THAT MADE THE ACTUAL DECISION YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING.

I have friends that have dealt with what you are going through and I've discussed the same scenario with them many times. One thing that I have noticed is how quickly the fortunes of premier clubs or their teams switch. So number 1 is probably more important than we'd all like it to be. Every spring I'm nervous about that stability even in our club.

I don't think you can just do a 2 out of 3 analysis. A very bad analysis for any of the 3 should disqualify that option. Arguably, number 2 is the most important for your daughter's future, as long as number 1 and 3 are at acceptable levels. No matter her age, her enjoyment is still paramount (in my opinion), so if you knew she didn't like the coach and girls on the new team it should probably trump everything else, but right now it's just unknown.

It seems like a no brainer to try out for the new club. Your daughter may really like the other kids and coaches (which would give new club a clean sweep other than maybe philosophy). Also, she may run into other players from her current team which could help with number 3 AND be a sign of coming implosion of her current club's age group (or the whole club). I've found that some of our teams' parents like to keep their plans close to the vest for both fair and selfish reasons. You don't want to be the last player on the sinking ship. It happened to a friend's 10 year old and the club's implosion made it tough for him to find another team that had room. I'd also be curious, however, why the new club has room. Is it a new team they are putting together? Did they cut girls? Did girls leave?

One other thing I'd throw in, however, is your daughter's position on the current team. If she was towards the bottom third, it is arguable that the team's player losses can give her the chance to be a leader. My son plays for an intercamp team in the summer where he is a top player. His club team would destroy his camp team, but he comes back much more confident in the fall because he was a leader. If she was already a leader, then it could frustrate her to feel like she's the only one that can get the job done (without the fault of her less talented teammates).

Good luck!
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
My kids are a big step below your daughter, so take this with a grain of salt. They could make C teams which I'm not a fan of when you have a good local club. YOU CAN STOP READING IF YOU ONLY WANT SOMEONE THAT MADE THE ACTUAL DECISION YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING.

I have friends that have dealt with what you are going through and I've discussed the same scenario with them many times. One thing that I have noticed is how quickly the fortunes of premier clubs or their teams switch. So number 1 is probably more important than we'd all like it to be. Every spring I'm nervous about that stability even in our club.

I don't think you can just do a 2 out of 3 analysis. A very bad analysis for any of the 3 should disqualify that option. Arguably, number 2 is the most important for your daughter's future, as long as number 1 and 3 are at acceptable levels. No matter her age, her enjoyment is still paramount (in my opinion), so if you knew she didn't like the coach and girls on the new team it should probably trump everything else, but right now it's just unknown.

It seems like a no brainer to try out for the new club. Your daughter may really like the other kids and coaches (which would give new club a clean sweep other than maybe philosophy). Also, she may run into other players from her current team which could help with number 3 AND be a sign of coming implosion of her current club's age group (or the whole club). I've found that some of our teams' parents like to keep their plans close to the vest for both fair and selfish reasons. You don't want to be the last player on the sinking ship. It happened to a friend's 10 year old and the club's implosion made it tough for him to find another team that had room. I'd also be curious, however, why the new club has room. Is it a new team they are putting together? Did they cut girls? Did girls leave?

One other thing I'd throw in, however, is your daughter's position on the current team. If she was towards the bottom third, it is arguable that the team's player losses can give her the chance to be a leader. My son plays for an intercamp team in the summer where he is a top player. His club team would destroy his camp team, but he comes back much more confident in the fall because he was a leader. If she was already a leader, then it could frustrate her to feel like she's the only one that can get the job done (without the fault of her less talented teammates).

Good luck!

Thanks

All these thoughts have gone through our minds. The prospect of instability with the current team is there. She already has an offer from the other club before tryouts, they scouted her, and she is a prominent player on her current team.

The new coach seems nice enough but you never know.
 
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
15,248
Reaction Score
16,187
It's a crap-shoot anyway you want to dice it up. I'm getting increasingly wary of our club (Central CT area club) that we've been with for a few years - been see mounting signs that the entire club is slipping away and was seriously thinking we'd bail out after this past spring and completely skip try-outs. Long story short, we're giving it one more year (kid likes it even though I think he's not getting our money's worth), but I don't see us there after 17-18.

  • Edit 1: RE: our club preaches possession, short passes, defense while the new club is hyperaggressive, attack mode

my kid just lost a coach that was big into possession/et al, and it made a world's worth of difference in his (kid's) development. I am very very wary of any coach/team that just plays direct all the time, I don't think the kids learn the game right playing that way.

  • Edit 2: Losing 3 top players

Why did they leave? Did they move up the food chain? Or just not happy with the club? When the talent starts bailing out, then that is a sign the Titanic is taking on way too much water.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
It's a crap-shoot anyway you want to dice it up. I'm getting increasingly wary of our club (Central CT area club) that we've been with for a few years - been see mounting signs that the entire club is slipping away and was seriously thinking we'd bail out after this past spring and completely skip try-outs. Long story short, we're giving it one more year (kid likes it even though I think he's not getting our money's worth), but I don't see us there after 17-18.

Sounds like we're in the same boat--a bit concerned about leaving too late.

  • Edit 1: RE: our club preaches possession, short passes, defense while the new club is hyperaggressive, attack mode

my kid just lost a coach that was big into possession/et al, and it made a world's worth of difference in his (kid's) development. I am very very wary of any coach/team that just plays direct all the time, I don't think the kids learn the game right playing that way.

Agreed. Without being at the other club, I can't say exactly what the new club's philosophy is (was planning on having a discussion with the coach prior to tryouts). But when they played our girls they were very aggressive and caught our high line on D with its pants down a few times with thru balls.

  • Edit 2: Losing 3 top players

Why did they leave? Did they move up the food chain? Or just not happy with the club? When the talent starts bailing out, then that is a sign the Titanic is taking on way too much water.

Three of the girls who left were in the top 6 of the 14 players on the current team. The team did a lot of losing, generally because our coach is a horrid game coach, no adjustments, and he even often sabotages us when things are going well. Our girls stormed out of the gates against a Syracuse team last weekend, 10 shots on goal in the first 10 minutes, 2-0 with their goalie standing on her head making saves. He pulled our wingers for a couple bench players and dropped the center MF back defensively. Game ended 2-2. He pulls a lot of stuff like that.

In my area, there is no higher food chain, really. There are 3 clubs, and they are weak/strong from age level to age level. But, we've seen some older age groups blow up.

There are still some spots available on the other team because they are creating a new team at a B level, so they are trying to import more girls to the A team. My daughter specifically received an A team invite.
 
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
15,248
Reaction Score
16,187
Three of the girls who left were in the top 6 of the 14 players on the current team. The team did a lot of losing, generally because our coach is a horrid game coach, no adjustments, and he even often sabotages us when things are going well. Our girls stormed out of the gates against a Syracuse team last weekend, 10 shots on goal in the first 10 minutes, 2-0 with their goalie standing on her head making saves. He pulled our wingers for a couple bench players and dropped the center MF back defensively. Game ended 2-2. He pulls a lot of stuff like that.

In my area, there is no higher food chain, really. There are 3 clubs, and they are weak/strong from age level to age level. But, we've seen some older age groups blow up.

There are still some spots available on the other team because they are creating a new team at a B level, so they are trying to import more girls to the A team. My daughter specifically received an A team invite.

in CT there's clubs that play in-state (ours), then those that play mid-level regional (EDP, etc), then the Big 3 (CFC/FSA/Oakwood) that play ECNL and DA. What I've seen at our state level club is that the best players eventually move on to the Big 3, only rarely does a hugely talented kid stick around for the long run. My kids (boys) are mid-level (charitably) talents, so the level is appropriate for us.

your mention of parents struck a nerve, we have one in particular that is a monster (a mom), wherever she is standing I go to the opposite end of the sidelines. Other parents have commented about her mouth, but no one confronts her. She has said stuff to my face about my kid's play that has made me envision punching her in the face.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
in CT there's clubs that play in-state (ours), then those that play mid-level regional (EDP, etc), then the Big 3 (CFC/FSA/Oakwood) that play ECNL and DA. What I've seen at our state level club is that the best players eventually move on to the Big 3, only rarely does a hugely talented kid stick around for the long run. My kids (boys) are mid-level (charitably) talents, so the level is appropriate for us.

your mention of parents struck a nerve, we have one in particular that is a monster (a mom), wherever she is standing I go to the opposite end of the sidelines. Other parents have commented about her mouth, but no one confronts her. She has said stuff to my face about my kid's play that has made me envision punching her in the face.

We don't seem to have the various levels you have in Ct. All 3 clubs in Buffalo do DA and a National Premier League (Great Lakes Alliance). We are affiliated with Ohio and Pennsylvania mostly. Then there's the local Thruway league (Buffalo, Ontario, Rochester, Syracuse, Binghamton, Jamestown, Utica) which, if you ask me, is almost as strong as Great Lakes.

This one parent has been banned already by our indoor winter league, and the annoying part is not only that he badgers the refs (which angers our coaches) but he constantly shouts House league advice to our players, and you can see it sometimes affecting them. "Get it out!!" he'll yell this a hundred times when the ball is in the box. Any time a kid takes a touch, "Get it out." We had a girl blast the ball into an attacker and into the goal recently. Or, he'll yell "Shoot" any time the ball is 40 yards from goal. My blood boils any time I am near him.

Then again, the new parents may have the same or worse.
 
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,483
Reaction Score
5,510
We don't seem to have the various levels you have in Ct. All 3 clubs in Buffalo do DA and a National Premier League (Great Lakes Alliance). We are affiliated with Ohio and Pennsylvania mostly. Then there's the local Thruway league (Buffalo, Ontario, Rochester, Syracuse, Binghamton, Jamestown, Utica) which, if you ask me, is almost as strong as Great Lakes.

This one parent has been banned already by our indoor winter league, and the annoying part is not only that he badgers the refs (which angers our coaches) but he constantly shouts House league advice to our players, and you can see it sometimes affecting them. "Get it out!!" he'll yell this a hundred times when the ball is in the box. Any time a kid takes a touch, "Get it out." We had a girl blast the ball into an attacker and into the goal recently. Or, he'll yell "Shoot" any time the ball is 40 yards from goal. My blood boils any time I am near him.

Then again, the new parents may have the same or worse.

I am a fan of no coaching the kid with the ball. My son's (now former) coach was a joystick coach that constantly yelled "shoot!" even when the kid didn't even have clean possession. I love the guy as a person, but I'm glad that his team is being taken "Premier Track" and going with the trainer as coach. That being said, I don't like your coaches method either. If he's "sabotaging" to build character or something, or is he's "giving other kids a chance to get out of their comfort zone" by switching positions, I think it has a place, but not a prominent one. I believe that the goal should not be winning at all costs, but there's nothing wrong with winning being a byproduct of playing the right way. I'm assuming from your numbers, you are 2004 or so (11v11). I'm a fan of a team being in a flight and going slightly over .500. Losing most/all of your games is tough on young kids and they don't learn how to find a way to win in a close game.

Re the parent, ours are fine on the whole (I don't get the full impact of the girls team because I'm on the player side). But I had a funny story. When my son was a U8 (doesn't even exist 8v8 anymore!), we had a kid that was really good, but his parents were super intense. The dad was harmless, but the mom would teeter on inappropriate every game. We were at a tournament and were undefeated going into our last game against PDA. The game was chippy because their kids knew how to slide tackle and ours didn't know how to get tackled. Her son broke through the defense and was 1 on 1 with the goalie to tie the score in the second half. He got taken out. We don't even know if the ref made a call because the mom ran onto the field and went after the ref. PDA pulled their team so the game ended. My son still claims he won because they forfeited (like my glory of beating Kearny in high school... after their top guys were gone or playing at private schools). The mom got into another fight with the parents and coach a Northern NJ premier club later in the season and then her son joined that team. Then we played against them and she got into an argument with our team (despite being from the same tiny town). We've lost some good players over the years that we'd be better with, but we are absolutely a better team without this kid.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
I am a fan of no coaching the kid with the ball. My son's (now former) coach was a joystick coach that constantly yelled "shoot!" even when the kid didn't even have clean possession. I love the guy as a person, but I'm glad that his team is being taken "Premier Track" and going with the trainer as coach. That being said, I don't like your coaches method either. If he's "sabotaging" to build character or something, or is he's "giving other kids a chance to get out of their comfort zone" by switching positions, I think it has a place, but not a prominent one. I believe that the goal should not be winning at all costs, but there's nothing wrong with winning being a byproduct of playing the right way. I'm assuming from your numbers, you are 2004 or so (11v11). I'm a fan of a team being in a flight and going slightly over .500. Losing most/all of your games is tough on young kids and they don't learn how to find a way to win in a close game.

Re the parent, ours are fine on the whole (I don't get the full impact of the girls team because I'm on the player side). But I had a funny story. When my son was a U8 (doesn't even exist 8v8 anymore!), we had a kid that was really good, but his parents were super intense. The dad was harmless, but the mom would teeter on inappropriate every game. We were at a tournament and were undefeated going into our last game against PDA. The game was chippy because their kids knew how to slide tackle and ours didn't know how to get tackled. Her son broke through the defense and was 1 on 1 with the goalie to tie the score in the second half. He got taken out. We don't even know if the ref made a call because the mom ran onto the field and went after the ref. PDA pulled their team so the game ended. My son still claims he won because they forfeited (like my glory of beating Kearny in high school... after their top guys were gone or playing at private schools). The mom got into another fight with the parents and coach a Northern NJ premier club later in the season and then her son joined that team. Then we played against them and she got into an argument with our team (despite being from the same tiny town). We've lost some good players over the years that we'd be better with, but we are absolutely a better team without this kid.

Great post; great story.

Also, my kid knows what the "Ewing Theory" is. I explained it to her.

My kid is a central midfielder who overlaps with a player near her, and they haven't figured it out yet. That kid is a piece of work, and unfortunately, she figures into our deliberations.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
Just in case anyone cares about the life of a U12 player in Buffalo (heh) we decided to stick with the current club, but my daughter was asked to play up at U13s. I think they sensed she wanted a higher level of play than last year. So, she is going to U13. This is better for her (at least theoretically) because last year, they had also placed her on a regional all star team (New York state; which convenes in the summer) and she didn't want to give that up just to move to a better local club, which would have meant starting from scratch.
 
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
15,248
Reaction Score
16,187
Just in case anyone cares about the life of a U12 player in Buffalo (heh) we decided to stick with the current club, but my daughter was asked to play up at U13s. I think they sensed she wanted a higher level of play than last year. So, she is going to U13. This is better for her (at least theoretically) because last year, they had also placed her on a regional all star team (New York state; which convenes in the summer) and she didn't want to give that up just to move to a better local club, which would have meant starting from scratch.

Sounds like a solid plan, hope she has a great year.

In our case, I'm sad to report that the loud, rude, hyper-critical mom is unfortunately returning this year. I had hopes she'd move her son to a better club since she is vocal about how the talent around him is awful and he's carrying them on his back.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
Sounds like a solid plan, hope she has a great year.

In our case, I'm sad to report that the loud, rude, hyper-critical mom is unfortunately returning this year. I had hopes she'd move her son to a better club since she is vocal about how the talent around him is awful and he's carrying them on his back.

Sorry to hear that.

Both of my problems are gone. One to the team recruiting my daughter (I have to admit that this played a role in our decision) while the vocal Dad is sending his daughter to travel soccer.

I hope for a good sideline this season, though I don't know many of the parents.
 
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
15,248
Reaction Score
16,187
(I have to admit that this played a role in our decision)

no shame in that. Hopefully your new parents are sane, quiet, and supportive. I, on the other hand, will spend another season playing "Dodge Em" on the sidelines.
 
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,483
Reaction Score
5,510
Good for you @upstater. Sounds like it worked out for the best. Playing up isn't as big of a deal anymore because she's probably with a bunch of kids in her own grade. Good luck!

Things worked out for my kids this coming year. Their last year on the small field but going to 9v9 (our league wasn't ready for it in 2016/17). My son's team is now trainer coached and is staying in the A flight of our regional league. They may move to EDP in spring, but even that travel isn't bad for us being in northern NJ. All good kids. Daughter's team is in the B flight. I'm coaching one more year and then they will most likely go trainer coached as well (current trainer has the highest USSF license you can get so I'm happy to step down!). They got 3 players back full time from the biggest academy team around us, so they should be solid and they're all nice girls. They're in a good place which is all I can ask for.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
Good for you @upstater. Sounds like it worked out for the best. Playing up isn't as big of a deal anymore because she's probably with a bunch of kids in her own grade. Good luck!

Things worked out for my kids this coming year. Their last year on the small field but going to 9v9 (our league wasn't ready for it in 2016/17). My son's team is now trainer coached and is staying in the A flight of our regional league. They may move to EDP in spring, but even that travel isn't bad for us being in northern NJ. All good kids. Daughter's team is in the B flight. I'm coaching one more year and then they will most likely go trainer coached as well (current trainer has the highest USSF license you can get so I'm happy to step down!). They got 3 players back full time from the biggest academy team around us, so they should be solid and they're all nice girls. They're in a good place which is all I can ask for.

Glad to hear this Chuck. It sounds like you have the best of both worlds. The only reason I went searching into the premier clubs is for better coaching. If you are lucky enough to find a good coach at any level, and you see your son or daughter growing, that all you can ask for. Plus, since my daughter has been guest playing this month with some of the best A travel clubs around here, I can see that some of th clubs would put a hurting on some of the premier teams.

The coach of the team she guests for had to take her aside during the game to remind her that making herself open for a pass on a breakout was counterproductive with his team since the girls were just going to boot the ball anyway and chase. She learned pretty quickly. When your team gets the ball, put your head down and run like hell, back to the ball, and then try to run over the defender trying to corral it.
 

UCweCONN

Former Poster
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
3,875
Reaction Score
6,610
My high school age kid has played for four different clubs since she started at U9. Pretty much two calendar years at each club. I tried to challenge her to find her level and each move brought high level competition (and unfortunately, more money out of pocket the higher up she went). Kids can get complacent staying with only one club and it can become more socializing than soccer. I think change is good for players whose goal is to play in college, regardless of whether it's D1 or D3. She's not a superstar but a very solid player on a high level team and is getting some low to mid D1 interest. Do what's best for your kid based on the kid's soccer goals.
 
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,483
Reaction Score
5,510
How'd your youth seasons go all? Upstater, how was the new age group?

My son's team took a hit. Three kids left, including their two best goal scorers. One went to the development team (or whatever they call it) at an academy. No double carding allowed. The other decided to focus on basketball and lacrosse over soccer. Thankfully, they gave notice and the club didn't put the team in EDP. They're in an A flight and have played mostly close games, but they are 1w 5l 1d. I think they'll end 3w 6l 1d. Not too bad when they are playing good soccer. They went 2-1 in the top flight of the tournament they played in, losing to the champion. Word is we may get all three kids back (one already came back as goalie) in spring.

My daughter's team (the one I assistant coach) is doing great (7w 1l 1d). Win or tie the last game and they win the B flight. It's against my daughter's best friend from camp's team. Great group of girls. They've already played the top 2 teams in the A flight (1w 1l 1d), so I think they'll do fine if they move up in spring.

Next year will be a bit tougher when we go 11v11. We're in a small town (2.5 square miles and 10k residents) so we don't have depth in the program. The girl's B team in particular has a few girls that would be the worst players on a bad rec team. Our trainers are thinking of doing a bit of recruiting for next year.

So I consider the fall a success on the whole. Full success for the girls team. The boys also struggled now that their joystick coach is gone (he does the same thing on the parent sideline). But they seem to be playing good soccer.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,147
Reaction Score
45,610
How'd your youth seasons go all? Upstater, how was the new age group?

My son's team took a hit. Three kids left, including their two best goal scorers. One went to the development team (or whatever they call it) at an academy. No double carding allowed. The other decided to focus on basketball and lacrosse over soccer. Thankfully, they gave notice and the club didn't put the team in EDP. They're in an A flight and have played mostly close games, but they are 1w 5l 1d. I think they'll end 3w 6l 1d. Not too bad when they are playing good soccer. They went 2-1 in the top flight of the tournament they played in, losing to the champion. Word is we may get all three kids back (one already came back as goalie) in spring.

My daughter's team (the one I assistant coach) is doing great (7w 1l 1d). Win or tie the last game and they win the B flight. It's against my daughter's best friend from camp's team. Great group of girls. They've already played the top 2 teams in the A flight (1w 1l 1d), so I think they'll do fine if they move up in spring.

Next year will be a bit tougher when we go 11v11. We're in a small town (2.5 square miles and 10k residents) so we don't have depth in the program. The girl's B team in particular has a few girls that would be the worst players on a bad rec team. Our trainers are thinking of doing a bit of recruiting for next year.

So I consider the fall a success on the whole. Full success for the girls team. The boys also struggled now that their joystick coach is gone (he does the same thing on the parent sideline). But they seem to be playing good soccer.

Very few games played so far. Almost all the players are playing school soccer, which just finished. Up here the middle schools all have teams.

Just one tournament so far for the premier club up at Lake George. They decided to not do the ECNL league, which is good. They went 2-1 in the tournament, which turned into a perfect test, as they blew out a Long Island premier team, 7-0 (went up 5-0 in first half, then passed the ball around in 2nd), got shellacked 5-0 by the Boston ECNL club from her same org (GPS), and beat Binghamton 1-0 in an even game.

My daughter is more than holding her own against the bigger girls. She scored the club's first goal of the year from her position as a defensive midfielder. That is probably the only aspect of the new situation I don't like. The coach has stuck his more skilled ballhandlers at the central midfield and defensive midfield positions, while some of the less skilled faster kids are up the wings. The defense (which is pretty good) has only been passing the ball to the wings, and the wingers can't seem to bring it back inside when they are squeezed out of bounds. In other words, my daughter isn't seeing much of the ball. Honestly, at this level, I think they should go 4-3-3 and abandon her position. Almost useless. They are in a 4-1-4-1 formation.

We'll be playing teams from Michigan, Ohio and Western Pa., in the spring. Luckily, almost all the games are within 3 hours. A much easier league than ECNL. Also entered into the 8 game upstate NY Thruway league (Binghamton, Utica, Syracuse, Rochester, Buffalo). Probably have some friendlies with Canadian teams, like every year.

Now I have my 8 year old just joined travel.
 

Online statistics

Members online
179
Guests online
3,088
Total visitors
3,267

Forum statistics

Threads
155,799
Messages
4,032,022
Members
9,865
Latest member
Sad Tiger


Top Bottom