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Message: [QUOTE="HuskyHawk, post: 2592209, member: 1414"] What you guys may want to try is some Australian whiskey. Like Dobson’s Old Reliable. Here’s the backstory from their website. [I]It seems that every whiskey in the world has a back story, you know, of how it has been made by the same family of half blind midgets in a quasi quaint Scottish highland village...the reality is that most are made in huge quantities in factories called distilleries.... We thought that we really needed a back story for our whiskey...and it is as truthful as most of the others. Before you recieve your bottle of Dobson's whiskey, it is best that you know the magical tale of how it gets from us to you. It all starts with a secret field in the lowland bayou where vestal virgins tend the fields of barley, all cloned from one grain, given personally to our farmer by a passing vagrant who said he was the messiah. The susequent barley is peated over a fire of burning goats tended by quadruple amputees who scoop the grain up in their blistered lips and spit it onto the smouldering peat. The mash is cooked over a fire of burning maggoty small meats to impart a rich scaley texture. Fermentation uses the yeast harvested from between the toes of drunken riverside vagrants in Paris. This heady blend is then distilled in a pot still containing a dead pidgeon, as an offering to Barry the god of petty criminals. The spirit is then re-distilled in a plate still. Upon the completion of ageing on Venezualan Goose oak. The resulting spirit is transported down the mighty Kentucky Creek, on the august new moon. By five small but perfectly formed Russian novelists, sworn to nasal abstinence. The portage is by old birch bark canoe, navigating only by astrolabe. Upon landing the cask containing just two bottles of Dobson's is poured into the bottles. One is capped and placed on an altar of the purest gold, awaitng sale to you . The other is poured over the acursed ground to make a pentangle on the ground around a sacred goat wearing lipstick (Revlon - Summer's Gold Shimmer ) named Denise. The pentangle is then set alight and the Russian novelists take their place, each on his own corner of the pentangle...at which time they perform the japanese sacred act of Seppuku , The act of ritual disembowelment using a sharpened HB pencil for a blade. We think it is the birch in the canoe which really sets our whiskey apart.[/I] [/QUOTE]

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