OT: New Medical Terminology.

[Kibitzer]

My grandson is studying hard in med. school so I thought I would help him out by expanding his medical vocabulary, beyond what's in his text books. Here are a few:

inoculatte - taking coffee intravenously when you are under pressure.
decafalon - the act of getting through a grueling day while consuming only healthy ingredients.
hipatitus - terminal coolness.
rectitude - the dignified demeanor maintained by proctologists.
flatulance - emergency vehicle that picks up a person who was run over by a steamroller.
lymph - to walk with a lisp.

and, my fave:
osteopornosis - a degenerate disease.

Two bonus points:
ignoranus - a person who is both stupid and an a**hole
testicle - (spoken slowly) a humorous exam question.
​

Enjoy!

 

[FairView]

Cleverly amusing. Thanks, Kib.

 

[Jim]

Cranal rectumitis - the inability to grasp the obvious.

 

[RockyMTblue2]

I have never met a dignified proctologist.

 

[Kibitzer]

I have never met a dignified proctologist.

You would lose your dignity, too, if you were the butt of so many jokes.

 

[pacific 44]

Cardiopulmomary-A gal named Mary who is both heart-racingly beautiful and takes your breath away.

 

[MilfordHusky]

I have never met a dignified proctologist.

I heard about one who tried to write a Rx with a thermometer. He muttered, "Some _____ has my pen."

 

[Kibitzer]

I heard about one who tried to write a Rx with a thermometer. He muttered, "Some _____ has my pen."

I heard a different version:

Nurse goes off shift. Gets to her car in the lot. Discovers a rectal thermometer clipped in her pocket. Exclaims:

"Some a**hole has my pen!"​

[Popular with the VA-West Haven staff.]

 

[Bestiarius]

Cardiology - The study of the Louisville WBB team.

 

[pacific 44]

rhinorear-a brown noser
alveolie-when a person denies he has gas exchange
audistetrics and genocology-the players listen and they learn stuff
aqueous humor-someone accidently trips and falls into the pool
backteria-there's something behind you and you hope it stays there
dopamine-Uma says"how can i get rid of this dopamine"
diabetes-constantly running to the bathroom after consuming too much superbeets

 

[Kibitzer]

rhinorear-a brown noser
alveolie-when a person denies he has gas exchange
audistetrics and genocology-the players listen and they learn stuff
aqueous humor-someone accidently trips and falls into the pool
backteria-there's something behind you and you hope it stays there
dopamine-Uma says"how can i get rid of this dopamine"
diabetes-constantly running to the bathroom after consuming too much superbeets

Touche'! I loved every one, esp. Geno-cology. So a few more:

abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
gargoyle - olive-flavored mouthwash.
caterpallor - the color you turn after finding a worm in the apple you're eating.
glibido - all talk and no action.
coffee - the person downwind from a cougher.
balderdash - a rapidly receding hairline.
willy-nilly - impotence.

 

[pacific 44]

You're willy-nilly quote reminded me of the old days when circumcisions were done with pinking scissors and the recipient was said to have a frilly-dilly.(joke)
Do you remember the song "bring back,briiing back,bring back my anatomy.
Since this topic is off topic anyway i have always wondered what the connection is to your avatar and the words sky soldier. I was in the 173rd and 82nd airbornes back in the 1960's and was in the Dominican republic crisis there.I would be interested to know where you might have been.

 

[Kibitzer]

i have always wondered what the connection is to your avatar and the words sky soldier. I was in the 173rd and 82nd airbornes back in the 1960's and was in the Dominican republic crisis there.I would be interested to know where you might have been.

Enjoyed your lyrics to old barracks favorites.

Check your PM box.

 

[Bestiarius]

Cat scans and Lab tests - Procedures performed by family pets.

 

[FairView]

addadicktome – female to male sex change operation

 

[Kibitzer]

addadicktome – female to male sex change operation

Good one! I'll offer three more PG-13 ones:

circumvent - the opening in boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
recocopulation - one more time, by mutual consent.
foreploy - any misrepresentation with the aim of getting sex.

Now I'm done!