OK. Beautiful music threads, bad joke threads, it's enough to get a guy committed to the nut house.
Speaking of which....
A patient has been in a mental hospital for years. One day he is escorted to the office of the chief of psychiatry. The doc invites him to have a seat and offers him coffee. Once they are settled, the shrink begins to speak.
"Mr. Cruikshank, you've been a patient here for quite a few years now, and the staff feel that you've made significant progress, so much so in recent months that we are considering the possibility of your release. Before we can agree on that, we would like to know a bit about how you might adjust to life outside this facility."
Cruikshank smiles and nods his head happily. "I would like that very much, Doctor. Please ask me anything."
The psychiatrist, pleased at the initial reaction, begins his questions. "Why don't you begin by telling me how you would spend your time?"
"Well, Doctor, I would go to the symphony, visit the art museums, read lots of books, brush up on my cordon bleu culinary skills, resume inventing clever devices,
do some volunteer work at the animal shelter, join a gym, play chess with my friends, manage my investments, do some oil painting and sculture... you know, just routine stuff."
The doctor, a bit surprisd and sceptical, asks, "With all that activity, wouldn't you get tired?"
Cruikshank beams benevolently and says, "Oh no, Doc, that stuff would be just right to occupy my days, and still leave plenty of time for me to really be myself!"
"Yourself?" asks the shrink. "And precisely what does that 'self' do?"
"Oh, Doc, you really surprise me. I've been meeting with you for all these years, and you really haven't got to know me at all. I'm an electric percolator!"
