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Message: [QUOTE="auror, post: 2069528, member: 1329"] Planning our wedding now (engaged for 11 months, wedding in 4). The pressure from family can be immense. I'm the first grandchild to get married on one side that's all fairly local to where we live. As much as you say "I can tell my grandma that we're eloping and there won't be a wedding", you might not be able to. I can be a selfish guy, but there are things that I'm not capable of and I'm cognizant of that. If we financially couldn't have afforded a "usual" wedding ($20k+ in the Northeast at a "wedding venue"), it would get easier to say no, but we're not quite in that position. We got a contribution from family of what we anticipated would be 50% of costs but will probably end up being closer to 33%. And part of us wants to throw a killer party with great food for our guests. That's part of the reason we chose a venue which we know will end up being expensive for our number of guests. We're saving money where we can: [LIST] [*]Her dress was cheap (couple hundred, not thousands) [*]We're being tight with guest list as much as we can (100) without being exclusive (Aunts, Uncles, cousins in plus longterm significant others, some friends/acquaintances out, most "family friends" of parents out except for a few from the family that contributed) [*]I work in the beer industry and will be getting free or wholesale beer + wine. [*]Essentially cheapest local DJ with good reviews from the venue [*]Ceremony brief and no frills on site at the venue [*]Flowers can be a huge expense and we're not skilled enough to arrange our own, but we're keeping it simple and fortunately that's on theme. [*]Simple wedding ring bands. Alternative metal and on sale. [*]Getting a friend to officiate after getting an online ministry. [*]Cake surprisingly not that expensive through our caterer. [*]Save the dates + invitations were found on a decent deal and envelopes printed ourselves. [/LIST] We're spending a lot where we want: [LIST] [*]The food is going to be killer (Best reputation catering company in the state we're getting married in, tons of customization, this will end up being $150 a head with beverage, staffing, taxes and fees included, but not venue cost) [*]We like the venue a lot. There will be baby goats on the property at time of the wedding and a nice view. [/LIST] We're spending more than we want where we are forced: [LIST] [*]Our venue choice forces some vendors on us for things like table/chair/lights rentals. This was a con with the venue choice, but the venue offered enough positives that we are sucking this one up [*]God I hope it doesn't rain so we don't need a rain tent. [/LIST] If we knew someone with a large enough property to do the wedding on for substantially cheaper, we would have gone that route. But we and our family are city folk unfortunately. 100 people, $30k. [/QUOTE]

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