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Message: [QUOTE="8893, post: 2069329, member: 93"] Agree with these two specifically, and even moreso the reinforcement of the overall point to get yourself out of the mindset that you have to do everything the "traditional wedding" way. From the outset we discussed the things that mattered to us and figured out how to do them well, and we agreed to jettison everything that we didn't care about. We wanted a Christian church and Christian officiant, but didn't care about the denomination otherwise. We hired each separately--they don't have to come as a package. We designed our own service; had a friend play piano and had only one of the three readings come from the Bible--the other two were lyrics to a Dylan song and a Dr. Seuss book, respectively. Totally scored on the wedding dress front. My wife wanted nothing to do with a traditional veil and gown with all the bells and whistles. She found what I believe was a high school girl's graduation dress on clearance at Laura Ashley; she, um, was very petite and it looked very elegant and beautifully understated. We determined that neither one of us ever liked wedding cake, much less the ritual of smashing it into each others' mouths. We had an excellent local baker make us a beautiful mound of awesome brownies and she presented it wonderfully. No mess, no fuss--and who doesn't love brownies? I guess my point is that it's not just about saving money; once you understand that you can design your own everything to fit what you want, it really starts to take care of itself. Be creative about your options and be flexible if it can save you enough money to matter. Another example: We didn't want to pay the facility cleanup fee so we agreed to clean it up ourselves. The caterer took all their stuff away and we took care of the rest. As with the set up, some friends and family helped, but to this day one of the best memories I have is of just the two of us being the last ones there, turning out the lights and driving away to our hotel. We were lucky that our most preferred band was local to our wedding spot and we booked them well in advance. Just over a year later a good friend paid three times as much to book them for his wedding elsewhere. Call in favors. My brother worked in a liquor store and I got all the beer and booze from him wholesale. I went to the wine store I had frequented for many years and spoke with the owner about the best crowd-pleasing reds and whites for our needs and budget and he gave me a nice break on a few cases of each. As referenced above, a friend (who happens to be a fairly renowned pianist) played our ceremony. Another friend was just starting a classic car rental business and I rented his Rolls Royce for the afternoon and drove it to and from the ceremony myself instead of hiring a limo. Got a nephew or niece who is a budding photographer or videographer? Pay them and tell them what you want instead of buying a package from a pro. We went with a pro and ended up happier with the shots and videos from our friends and family. Look for great inexpensive venues to do what you want and book them first. In CT, some great spots for this are Harkness Park in Waterford, the Elks Club in Westbrook and the Surf Club in Madison. Because they are so great for the money, they are all booked long in advance, so that's the place to start imo. I cared only about the band and the booze. I told her she could pick everything else. BUT, I booked everything. [/QUOTE]

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