OT: A break in the action. Virtually faux ads.

[Kibitzer]

People who write ad copy tend to be intuitively creative when when exaggerating a product's pizazz or concealing its flaws.

The modifier virtually is a case in point. It means "nearly," or "almost," or "not quite," but those words lack that "virtue" sound so we get bombarded with deceitful descriptors like "virtually painless" or "virtually maintenance-free," and guess what? One item hurts and the other requires periodic visits to a shop.

Faux is another. It's French for "false." Or "fake" or "phony." Those modifiers would never generate sales so the bright marketing guys use faux with aplomb to fool us. Beware before you fall for that nifty "faux leather jacket" @$19.95.

Boneyarders, your turn. Know any others?

GO!

 

[meyers7]

Well a lot of them use "new" or "improved" or "new and improved", instead of the obvious "our old stuff sucked, so we had to make it better". Which would never sell.

"Classic" works pretty well too, instead of "same old stuff you been buying for years".

 

[Zorro]

Vintage.

 

[f1f1ferrari]

"Clinically Proven" always makes me laugh. Sure, in your clinic, with you controlling the conditions!

 

[FairView]

I've been writing ads for 35 years. Good copywriters actually hate using virtually. Most often the word is added to get the copy past legal review. Clients who don't have the balls to put a stake in the ground and make a bold claim (which is most of them) also like it as a safety valve. I admit that I have used it thousands of times, but not by choice.

Regarding "new and improved," there are countless studies that show this term is golden with consumers. People want to buy something new and improved. It's used over and over because it works. It may not work as well in the Boneyard, but you need to keep in mind that people in here are smarter than the average bear.

After all these years, I can sometime look at an ad or a brochure and see how wishy washy clients, group decisions and legal carved things up. You don't see it as much for packaged goods.

 

[Husky25]

"Your gonna love my nuts." - Fritz. Tell me that didn't make you want to order slap chopper.

Using 9 at the end of a price instead of rounding to the nearest dime.

Adam Carolla did a live read for TrueCar.com on a recent podcast where the copy claims that you can "save thousands off MSRP." As a car guy, I have to assume he shudders when he reads the copy (but still no doubt cashes the sponsorship check). A chimpanzee should be able to save thousands off MSRP. That is the point of a car's MSRP. It's intentionally inflated and if any person uses MSRP as their starting point for negotiation, they deserve to be ripped off by every cent they overpay.

"It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money" - Canadian Bill Jones.

 

[meyers7]

This one is a bit misleading.

 

[meyers7]

Probiotics. Which are actually bacteria and yeast.

 

[rvwsleep]

"Longer lasting" and "Clinically/Scientifically Proven" are 2 of my favorites. Can't forget "All Natural" which, quite often, isn't.

 

[Husky25]

"Longer lasting" and "Clinically/Scientifically Proven" are 2 of my favorites. Can't forget "All Natural" which, quite often, isn't.

Uncut cocaine is "all natural" and heroin is "organic."

 

[Zorro]

"Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump." W.C. Fields

 

[BigBird]

I also worked for a time as a radio ad writer. Among my least favored phrases is "...and so much more." It's the way to cap a string of items when, in fact, you CAN'T think of "any more." I also think that boasting of "quality service" for items that are service-free is a bit weird.

Radio ads too often point to inventory without giving you any reason why you should buy it. Reason-to-buy has been around forever, but so has a lack of awareness of it as an ad strategy.

I know that I could have done a better job of ad writing had I been given enough time to do it. But it wasn't unusual for an ad rep to breeze in after a sales call and hand me a display ad from the local newspaper and say, "Give me three half-minute ads and start them on the air in an hour." And there is "so much more."

 

[UcMiami]

Free Range - means a chicken has access to some area 'outside' though that area may be 10 square feet of concrete shared by 1000 other birds.

FYI - 'New' and 'Improved' for food and health and beauty consumables does actually have a legal definition and duration of use on packaging from the time a formula or process of production is first introduced. I believe in is only legally controlled for consumables.

'Imported'
'American Made'

 

[ed4ourgirls]

I too find the plethora of nines in the price rather annoying. And gas stations have
added 9/10 of a cent to their per gallon prices since before I was born (i.e. more
than 75 years ago).

 

[Jimbo]

One phrase that probably isn't used falsely but always makes me shake my head is "space-age material." What does that mean, it was developed sometime between 1957 and now?

Also, Kib's $19.95 faux leather jacket instantly reminded me of Ricardo Montalbán's "soft Corinthian leather," which was… well, let's just say it was not from anywhere near Corinth.

 

[Carnac]

That's why I love the Boneyard. You get tidbits of information here you just can't get anywhere else. The humor here is priceless. I get more laughs here, than watching most "sitcoms". In addition to being some of the most knowledgeable basketball fans anywhere, some of you have a sense of humor that is priceless. I love it!

If you want a piece of information, the name of someone, or a link to something, there's always somebody here that can get it for you. Ask not, want not. I love this place.!!!!

I'm a lot more knowledgeable WCBB fan in general, and a UConn fan specifically because of the time I spend here on the yard.

 

[OldAlum]

"Up to"
As in "Cleans up to 50% better!" So 50% is the most improvement you could hope for, but it might also clean worse and we wont say which is more likely!

 

[MilfordHusky]

Faux is another. It's French for "false." Or "fake" or "phony." Those modifiers would never generate sales so the bright marketing guys use faux with aplomb to fool us. Beware before you fall for that nifty "faux leather jacket" @$19.95.

Hopefully, no one reads that as "FOX leather jacket."