losing my dad | Page 3 | The Boneyard

losing my dad

ctchamps

We are UConn!! 4>1 But 5>>>>1 is even better!
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
16,917
Reaction Score
41,377
Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story about a wonderful person and the special relationship you’ve had with him.
 
Joined
Dec 25, 2015
Messages
827
Reaction Score
2,983
As hard as it is seeing your parents declining, the thought of reliving those 2 days when you have to accept you will never see your mom or dad again is such an empty, lonely, soul searching feeling. To know that a parent's love is unwavering and forever, and to reciprocate and duplicate is what it's all about.
Thank you for that wonderful tribute....it's what it is all about.
 
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
2,083
Reaction Score
6,553
Sorry for your loss.
I appreciate where you're coming from. My dad and I got very close when I was in my early 20s, and I was with him when he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 56. That was 52 years ago, and I still remember the feeling of helplessness, and still berate myself for waiting so long to become best friends with him.

Don't berate yourself. You did get close and he undoubtedly loved how your relationship grew. Imagine how helpless he would have felt if he was alone when he suffered the hemorrhage.
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2018
Messages
133
Reaction Score
311
I just lost my dad. Through it all, his mind was still sharp but, his body finally gave up. I will miss our weekly phone calls where we mostly talked Uconn basketball, sports, old cars and politics. Being native Nutmeggers, we both loved Uconn basketball and our fiery coach, Mr. Jim Calhoun.

During our weekly phone calls during basketball season, he would always ask me about each Uconn game and I would try to describe, as best I could, a rough play by play. This was a bond that we both shared and thoroughly enjoyed.

My dad was a Marine and served during the Korean Conflict in the 50’s. He retired as a cop with over 25 years of service then finished out his working career as a Lead Investigator for the State of Connecticut. Not only was he a proud Marine and loved wearing his Korean Veteran Cap, he was always proud to say that he was a cop…just like his dad. Both my grandpa and my dad were Hartford cops; with their combined service beginning in the 1930s and ending in the 1960s. My dad’s hero was his dad and though my dad lived his life as his own man he always strove to make my grandpa proud, and he did. I live my life the same way, I was fortunate to hear my dad tell me that he was proud of me and what I did. I don’t have any regrets except one; that I didn’t spend more time with him.

As he aged, life threw him a series of curve balls. In his late 70s, he was diagnosed with macular degeneration and was legally blind. He also beat stage 4 throat cancer for 5 years. This last battle was his hardest, the cancer returned; this time to his neck causing him problems swallowing which resulted in a feeding tube and fluid on the lungs. The cancer had metastasized and ended up in other parts of his body. The final blow was having an artery in his chest tear, causing internal bleeding and heart stoppage. They revived him, which allowed me one more day to visit with him and to say my good bye.

Sadly, we take life and relationships for granted because we are so busy living life. I didn’t know how long my dad was going to live; I guess I just expected him to always be there. I was very, very fortunate, I got to spend 3 of his last 5 days with him and our time together during those days was more precious to me than gold. We spoke about our lives, our family and old friends. He must have known something that I did not because he told me that he needed for someone to write his obituary. I told him that I had a pad of paper and a pen and that I was ready to write everything down. Little did I know that I would lose him 2 days later.

I am writing this post as a reminder; love and keep in contact with family and friends because you never know when you may say your last good bye. Don’t put off the “I love you’s” because you may never get another chance to speak those special words again. I loved hearing my dad say; “I love you son” just as much as he loved hearing me say; “I love you dad”. We get caught up in life and allow those special times and sayings to get put on the back burner. Hug your wife, hug your parents and hug your children and always tell them that you love them. Our families are our most precious and prized possessions, treat them as such.

In closing, I would like to say one more time; “I love you Dad…”
So very sorry
 
Joined
Jan 12, 2013
Messages
1,478
Reaction Score
4,763
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Your dad will live forever in you through your memories and his lessons. Those same memories that you will or have shared with your kids and those important lessons you will or have taught. God Bless
 
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
633
Reaction Score
1,393
I just lost my dad. Through it all, his mind was still sharp but, his body finally gave up. I will miss our weekly phone calls where we mostly talked Uconn basketball, sports, old cars and politics. Being native Nutmeggers, we both loved Uconn basketball and our fiery coach, Mr. Jim Calhoun.

During our weekly phone calls during basketball season, he would always ask me about each Uconn game and I would try to describe, as best I could, a rough play by play. This was a bond that we both shared and thoroughly enjoyed.

My dad was a Marine and served during the Korean Conflict in the 50’s. He retired as a cop with over 25 years of service then finished out his working career as a Lead Investigator for the State of Connecticut. Not only was he a proud Marine and loved wearing his Korean Veteran Cap, he was always proud to say that he was a cop…just like his dad. Both my grandpa and my dad were Hartford cops; with their combined service beginning in the 1930s and ending in the 1960s. My dad’s hero was his dad and though my dad lived his life as his own man he always strove to make my grandpa proud, and he did. I live my life the same way, I was fortunate to hear my dad tell me that he was proud of me and what I did. I don’t have any regrets except one; that I didn’t spend more time with him.

As he aged, life threw him a series of curve balls. In his late 70s, he was diagnosed with macular degeneration and was legally blind. He also beat stage 4 throat cancer for 5 years. This last battle was his hardest, the cancer returned; this time to his neck causing him problems swallowing which resulted in a feeding tube and fluid on the lungs. The cancer had metastasized and ended up in other parts of his body. The final blow was having an artery in his chest tear, causing internal bleeding and heart stoppage. They revived him, which allowed me one more day to visit with him and to say my good bye.

Sadly, we take life and relationships for granted because we are so busy living life. I didn’t know how long my dad was going to live; I guess I just expected him to always be there. I was very, very fortunate, I got to spend 3 of his last 5 days with him and our time together during those days was more precious to me than gold. We spoke about our lives, our family and old friends. He must have known something that I did not because he told me that he needed for someone to write his obituary. I told him that I had a pad of paper and a pen and that I was ready to write everything down. Little did I know that I would lose him 2 days later.

I am writing this post as a reminder; love and keep in contact with family and friends because you never know when you may say your last good bye. Don’t put off the “I love you’s” because you may never get another chance to speak those special words again. I loved hearing my dad say; “I love you son” just as much as he loved hearing me say; “I love you dad”. We get caught up in life and allow those special times and sayings to get put on the back burner. Hug your wife, hug your parents and hug your children and always tell them that you love them. Our families are our most precious and prized possessions, treat them as such.

In closing, I would like to say one more time; “I love you Dad…”
My Dad was diagnosed w esophageal cancer at 77. He died at 83, 7 months after mom died. Cancer was just the excuse he was ready to go be w mom. Anyway these old guys are wicked tough, but enough about me.

Putting your dad’s story here means his life and his story lives on in the rest of us. We take it with us where ever we go. We all have our petty differences here but never underestimate the power and far reach of The Boneyard.

Condolences.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
1,323
Reaction Score
1,814
The sting is still pretty raw for me as well. My deepest condolences. Your tribute to him is telling of the kind of dad he was. Life will go on just like his memories. Stay safe.
 

Hankster

What do I know.
Joined
Aug 28, 2011
Messages
1,912
Reaction Score
3,292
Very sorry for your loss.Your story is very familiar to me. My dad also went the same way.Sharp mind failing body. We also talked UConn and politics. UConn talk went great, however I was Republican and he a Democrat so it got semi heated sometimes. lol. Great memories.
 
Joined
Feb 28, 2020
Messages
59
Reaction Score
159
My condolences for the loss of your father. Thank you for reminding me how precious and finite life is. Yes I will go right now and hug my wife and kids. Please take care and hope all else is well with you.
 
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
337
Reaction Score
750
My deepest condolences and prayers. Thank you to your father for his service as a Marine and cop.
 

Online statistics

Members online
197
Guests online
2,480
Total visitors
2,677

Forum statistics

Threads
155,754
Messages
4,030,469
Members
9,864
Latest member
leepaul


Top Bottom