DobbsRover2
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Husssky players talked about their state of mind entering tonight's game, and unfortunately, it sounds pretty bad. You be the judge.
Kellly Farisss: "Coach always gives me the other team's toughest player to D up on. In the championship he says I got either Griner or the big Ogwumike. Well tonight I'm taking a break and guarding the most cream-puffy of the Irish. I got what's-her-name, Muffin or Muffet. By the time I'm done with her, she'll be screaming at the refs for help."
Kaleeena Mosqueeeda-Lewwwis: "The number on my back shows exactly how many times that sports announcers have pronounced my name right in all the years I've been playing ball. I started out wearing 23 for UConn back in November, and it’s still 23 right now."
Tiffffany Hayyes: "I know I'm the big senior on the team, but I just can't get my head into tonight's game. Too many options to think about. The Patriots say I can have Brady's job and he and Gisele will do my nails before the games. The Jets say I'll get piggyback rides around the stadium from Tebow and Sanchez after every TD pass, and they'll draft Kelly #1 next year at wideout. Tough, man. What's a girl to do?"
Carollline Dotyy: "You know, I'm tired of being the wise redshirt junior who has to tell all these younger players about what it takes to win the big one. I even have freakin' Penn State players I can barely recall ever speaking to like that Maggie Lucas now asking me for advice. I'm going to just give ‘em all the boot and ..... aaaaah, maybe I’ll take it a little easy on that booting stuff."
Brrria Hartttley: "Why do they always talk about me giving up the rock for a teammate? 13 more points tonight and I join Maya and that Russian chick as the only Huskies to get to 1000 career points as sophomores. So get out of the way because Bria scoring machine is going to light up the joint tonight, and everybody else better just feed me the ball."
Steffffanie Dolllson: "I'm pulling out the knockout weapon against Notre Dame tonight. It's called The Return of the Big-Doo Wig, the one that had the starring role in a UConn classic video. The Irish are gonna be breathless and running scared in Denver and won't dare step in the paint. It's gonna be like the B-52s and Rock Lobster out there."
Kiahhhh Stokesss: "So Coach said I had lazy practice habits? Typical crap he always gives us freshmen. Well, one thing I wasn't lazy about was slipping some fast-hardening epoxy into his jar of hair gel. Can't wait to see the look on his face when the team has its first breakdown tonight and he goes to run his fingers through his hair. Can someone spell Oucheeeee."
Heathhher Buccck: "As a nursing major, you bet I'm pretty good nursing a grudge. I wish I could say I had a really nasty grudge for the Irish, but when you have a bunch of short, out-of-state, back-biting teammates all around you, that's where you put your venom."
Briannnna Bankks: "Just a lot of old dead wood on this team. You need to go with speed -- that's me. You gotta go with youth -- that's me. And who's got a real good Bank shot -- that's me. If Coach wised up and started all the freshmen like the smart people on that Boneyard forum said he should do, no way we lose any games this year."
Laurrren Engelnnn: "There's a reason I was the Husky who got into Coed Magazine's 75 Most Beautiful Ballers of March Madness list. But it does make we wonder how those other 74 players got in there with me. I mean, c'mon, no comparison with the glam smile from this California girl. Just use 75 pics of me in my pink boa."
Miccchala Johhhnson: "So what's been my big story this week? A picture of me looking at Tiff's fingernails? And that story about me asking her if she had them clipped by a Deere harvester. No way I said exactly that. Yes I know she shredded my sweatshirt, but that's not the whole story."
Gennnno Auriemmmma: "What's the [edit] story with this [edit] team? [edit] Hell if I [edit] know. No [edit] first-team [edit] All-Americans, turn the [edit] ball over every other [edit] play, [edit] team videos that make [edit] 'Santa Claus Conquers the [edit] Martians' look like an [edit] Oscar winner. I [edit] gave up on this [edit] team before the [edit] season started and just [edit] told Chris, 'Take'em and do what you [edit] can with them, milk a few [edit] victories, and [edit] wake me after mid [edit] March when it's [edit] over.' Ehhh, so is it [edit + 1/2] April yet?" (Note: 22 1/2 f-bombs or s-missiles were removed from this quote for the sake of the children, Vol lurkers, and a few self-described clean-living adults.)
Chrisss Daillley: "I've had it with everybody here. I get no credit. Never see any love from anybody. I'm thinking now's the time to get a real job and volunteer to rebuild some stumbling program down in the SEC. Someday when I get my own Dailey Show or someone makes a big video about me, these ingrates will see what they're missing and .... Oh really? .... ESPN? .... You don't say .... No one told me about it. ...... Never mind."
Shhhea Ralllph: "In my day we had 10 Huskies on the first-team All-American squad every year, and that's not even counting the male practice players and the mascot. I told the team that if anybody scores over 40 on you, you're dead. So I've taught them to grab and clutch and hack and take a lot of swan dives to get foul calls. Just nothing I ever had to do back in my day when UConn meant something."
Marisssa Moselllley: "I'm supposed to be the bubbly optimistic one on the staff, but this year just forget it. I'm really depressed. The posts couldn't get a rebound if it was crazy-glued to their heads and shoot the ball like they're drowning in a pool of cheesy dip. Speaking of which, that's why I've been chowing down all those cheese-steak sandwiches from Geno's restaurant. The mood here's gotten that bad."
Sarahhh Darrrras: "What a nice vacation I've had this year. Nothing good about the Huskies to feed to the press or to contact the White House about, and nobody wants us come visit them for charity events. I've got the chance to do a lot of knitting, bean-sprouting, and crossword puzzles in my copious free time. Next year though I hear the team may win a few games and I'll have to go back to work."
Rosemmmmary Raggggle: "Everything is all set for tonight's game. I've got a couple of extra knees ready for Caroline, five tubes of spray-on elbow skin for Tiffany, and over there's a few replacement brains I can pop into the players when Geno starts blowing his fuses."
Rebeccccca Lobbbbo: "Okay, so I did pick the Irish to win tonight until a group of those Boneyard thugs got some thumbscrews on me. You know when you're a mother sometimes your kids drive you nuts and you do dumb things. So suspend me from the next two games or something, why don’t you?"
And as always, Happy April 1 amd merry poisson d’avril. Huskies 3-0 all-time on this date.
Kellly Farisss: "Coach always gives me the other team's toughest player to D up on. In the championship he says I got either Griner or the big Ogwumike. Well tonight I'm taking a break and guarding the most cream-puffy of the Irish. I got what's-her-name, Muffin or Muffet. By the time I'm done with her, she'll be screaming at the refs for help."
Kaleeena Mosqueeeda-Lewwwis: "The number on my back shows exactly how many times that sports announcers have pronounced my name right in all the years I've been playing ball. I started out wearing 23 for UConn back in November, and it’s still 23 right now."
Tiffffany Hayyes: "I know I'm the big senior on the team, but I just can't get my head into tonight's game. Too many options to think about. The Patriots say I can have Brady's job and he and Gisele will do my nails before the games. The Jets say I'll get piggyback rides around the stadium from Tebow and Sanchez after every TD pass, and they'll draft Kelly #1 next year at wideout. Tough, man. What's a girl to do?"
Carollline Dotyy: "You know, I'm tired of being the wise redshirt junior who has to tell all these younger players about what it takes to win the big one. I even have freakin' Penn State players I can barely recall ever speaking to like that Maggie Lucas now asking me for advice. I'm going to just give ‘em all the boot and ..... aaaaah, maybe I’ll take it a little easy on that booting stuff."
Brrria Hartttley: "Why do they always talk about me giving up the rock for a teammate? 13 more points tonight and I join Maya and that Russian chick as the only Huskies to get to 1000 career points as sophomores. So get out of the way because Bria scoring machine is going to light up the joint tonight, and everybody else better just feed me the ball."
Steffffanie Dolllson: "I'm pulling out the knockout weapon against Notre Dame tonight. It's called The Return of the Big-Doo Wig, the one that had the starring role in a UConn classic video. The Irish are gonna be breathless and running scared in Denver and won't dare step in the paint. It's gonna be like the B-52s and Rock Lobster out there."
Kiahhhh Stokesss: "So Coach said I had lazy practice habits? Typical crap he always gives us freshmen. Well, one thing I wasn't lazy about was slipping some fast-hardening epoxy into his jar of hair gel. Can't wait to see the look on his face when the team has its first breakdown tonight and he goes to run his fingers through his hair. Can someone spell Oucheeeee."
Heathhher Buccck: "As a nursing major, you bet I'm pretty good nursing a grudge. I wish I could say I had a really nasty grudge for the Irish, but when you have a bunch of short, out-of-state, back-biting teammates all around you, that's where you put your venom."
Briannnna Bankks: "Just a lot of old dead wood on this team. You need to go with speed -- that's me. You gotta go with youth -- that's me. And who's got a real good Bank shot -- that's me. If Coach wised up and started all the freshmen like the smart people on that Boneyard forum said he should do, no way we lose any games this year."
Laurrren Engelnnn: "There's a reason I was the Husky who got into Coed Magazine's 75 Most Beautiful Ballers of March Madness list. But it does make we wonder how those other 74 players got in there with me. I mean, c'mon, no comparison with the glam smile from this California girl. Just use 75 pics of me in my pink boa."
Miccchala Johhhnson: "So what's been my big story this week? A picture of me looking at Tiff's fingernails? And that story about me asking her if she had them clipped by a Deere harvester. No way I said exactly that. Yes I know she shredded my sweatshirt, but that's not the whole story."
Gennnno Auriemmmma: "What's the [edit] story with this [edit] team? [edit] Hell if I [edit] know. No [edit] first-team [edit] All-Americans, turn the [edit] ball over every other [edit] play, [edit] team videos that make [edit] 'Santa Claus Conquers the [edit] Martians' look like an [edit] Oscar winner. I [edit] gave up on this [edit] team before the [edit] season started and just [edit] told Chris, 'Take'em and do what you [edit] can with them, milk a few [edit] victories, and [edit] wake me after mid [edit] March when it's [edit] over.' Ehhh, so is it [edit + 1/2] April yet?" (Note: 22 1/2 f-bombs or s-missiles were removed from this quote for the sake of the children, Vol lurkers, and a few self-described clean-living adults.)
Chrisss Daillley: "I've had it with everybody here. I get no credit. Never see any love from anybody. I'm thinking now's the time to get a real job and volunteer to rebuild some stumbling program down in the SEC. Someday when I get my own Dailey Show or someone makes a big video about me, these ingrates will see what they're missing and .... Oh really? .... ESPN? .... You don't say .... No one told me about it. ...... Never mind."
Shhhea Ralllph: "In my day we had 10 Huskies on the first-team All-American squad every year, and that's not even counting the male practice players and the mascot. I told the team that if anybody scores over 40 on you, you're dead. So I've taught them to grab and clutch and hack and take a lot of swan dives to get foul calls. Just nothing I ever had to do back in my day when UConn meant something."
Marisssa Moselllley: "I'm supposed to be the bubbly optimistic one on the staff, but this year just forget it. I'm really depressed. The posts couldn't get a rebound if it was crazy-glued to their heads and shoot the ball like they're drowning in a pool of cheesy dip. Speaking of which, that's why I've been chowing down all those cheese-steak sandwiches from Geno's restaurant. The mood here's gotten that bad."
Sarahhh Darrrras: "What a nice vacation I've had this year. Nothing good about the Huskies to feed to the press or to contact the White House about, and nobody wants us come visit them for charity events. I've got the chance to do a lot of knitting, bean-sprouting, and crossword puzzles in my copious free time. Next year though I hear the team may win a few games and I'll have to go back to work."
Rosemmmmary Raggggle: "Everything is all set for tonight's game. I've got a couple of extra knees ready for Caroline, five tubes of spray-on elbow skin for Tiffany, and over there's a few replacement brains I can pop into the players when Geno starts blowing his fuses."
Rebeccccca Lobbbbo: "Okay, so I did pick the Irish to win tonight until a group of those Boneyard thugs got some thumbscrews on me. You know when you're a mother sometimes your kids drive you nuts and you do dumb things. So suspend me from the next two games or something, why don’t you?"
And as always, Happy April 1 amd merry poisson d’avril. Huskies 3-0 all-time on this date.
