Answer to the first question - be UConn or very nearly on their level. Answer to the 2nd one - yes, it doesn't take much to affect your seeding - and it can be unpredictable. Remember - the difference between a 3 and 4 seed in UConn's region could be the difference between Sweet 16 and Elite 8 (which is a big difference to teams that don't routinely head to the Final Four). I don't think a very good team should be afraid to play SDS or Green Bay in Green Bay or whatever, but it may not be desirable, either.A bit surprised by some of the concerns of the best programs in the country. This bit by Graves in particular.
When does your program become good enough that you do not have to think this way? Even if you lose such a game, how much would it really affect your Tournament seeding over a 30+ schedule and how better to prepare to play teams you have little prior knowledge in the Tournament than replicating the experience.
Well, there are a number of coaches that head to the nearest school bake sale to line up as many cupcakes as they can find, at least when it comes to their OOC opponents. Geno does whatever the opposite of that is when he schedules OOC opponents.