Here's what we need to do...

[Gurleyman]

1) Defeat Cincy in the Leftovers Bowl on Saturday and accept our invite into some little postseason bowl game against a MAC team. Travel then becomes mandatory for all Connecticut residents not currently assisting infants, the elderly or handicapped (exceptions can be made for police, firemen, public transit operators, and conscientious objectors to football). UConn vs. Bowling Green in Tuscaloosa? Sounds like a killer road trip. Bring your friends. I hear Tuscaloosa is lovely this time of year.

2) Win the national title in soccer. Yeah - soccer titles don't mean anything, but I don't care. Banners make me feel good. Whoever complained about having too many banners lying around the place? That means beating Creighton at home this weekend to get to the College Cup - can we do it? Now's as good a time as any.

3) Defeat N.C. State at the Jimmy V Classic. Another hollow victory in the big picture, yes, but who ever complained about too many wins, either? We don't get a shot at Duke or Carolina this year - so this one will have to do. Just a little reminder to everyone that we aren't going anywhere yet, hoops-wise.

4) Geno can go 39-0 again. it, another banner. Along with men's soccer, that would get us to 16 national championship banners since 1981 (the start of the Big East). If we count polo, it would be an even 20.

5) it, let's start counting polo. It's an elitist sport - it'll remind people that we're elite around here. People think Duke is snobbish, but they don't even have polo. Peasants. Any league that takes us would know that they would be far better equipped to entertain the Queen of England. Even more so if she likes ice cream.

6) KO and staff need to find a big man for next year, so that they can win another title too and spit in the face of Mark Emmert. No big men on the recruiting trail? Go overseas - we have connections in Israel, Germany, Russia, plus wherever the entire 2006 team is playing now. Can't find one over there? Find one already in college with a sick grandma in Connecticut. Can only find one with a healthy grandma in Idaho? Move her to Connecticut and get her sick. We have a nice medical center in Farmington to take care of her. Grandma will be fine.

7) Fill the Rent in 2013. Every game. Don't care how. Don't want excuses. Red Sox and Yankees playing in the World Series Game 7? Free 4G iPads under every seat with MLB video access. Monsoon coming? Postgame mud-wrestling contest - UConn cheerleaders vs. Strippers (we're too desperate to care about misogyny, we need people in the seats). Our football team is unwatchable? Prison furlough program. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman were desperate for the chance to get outside and tar a roof - modern prisoners can suffer watching our offense for three hours.

8) Capital improvements - all the stuff we should have done after the twin titles in 2004 and beginning play in a BCS league when people were in a donating mood. Expand the Rent, build the hoops practice facility, build new baseball stadium, renovate the hockey rink, etc. If the money isn't in place yet, start digging some holes. And put up some big "coming soon" signs with pictures of pretty buildings. Holes are cheap. Maybe someone will donate the signs. Put a couple bulldozers nearby for show, and maybe some dudes in hardhats staring at random papers.

9) Get in this AAU thing. We are better academically than a good portion of schools in the AAU. How this has not happened already, I don't know, but apparently it is important to some people, so get in it. We're a top 20 public university in one of the wealthiest states in the country - other state schools shouldn't be in that we aren't in. If Yale has to put in a good word for us, we'll make them - we're bigger than they are.

10) Get an invite somewhere as pretty much the last team in, and then become the flagship program of that league. We did that once already.

 

[Dove]

And get rid of Warde. Simply because of the Interim Deal.

 

[Dann]

1) build the pf
2) sign KO for 4 or 5 years
3) sign geno for another 5 or w/e the deal is with him i dont give a just get it done
4) expand the rent to 50 or 60k
5) get in aau
6) build puck, w/e that means just do it
7) lower prices for tickets across board
8) target any ct business and especially home grown ones for sponsors and tix agreements i mean every one. from sobe to the plumber in new britian
9) hire a a+ marketing guy and take us to a new world in this important area we are lacking
10) figure out the fball coaching situation
11) go to the b10

there is no reason that by christmas half of these should be done. hell if i had a job at uconn i would have 75% of these done so help me god.

 

[Calhoun's Court]

I wish Wardes contact was for 7 months instead of KO's.

 

[uconNYC]

Develop a dynamic OOC schedule in Basketball and Football.

 

[Gurleyman]

On further review, I actually shortchanged us some polo titles, since the UConn animal science department hasn't updated their polo information page since 2005 (seriously). We actually won four straight women's polo titles from 2005-08. That's right - a motherfuckin' fourpeat. As a result, we already have 21 national championships since 1981 (seven women's polo, seven women's basketball, three men's basketball, two field hockey, two men's soccer). Men's polo hasn't won since the 1970's, so clearly our snooty women have been better than our snooty men lately. We need to find our men some more snoot.

Here are some highlights of our women's team kicking TCU in the horse's ass in 2008 for a 19-13 win in the championship match.



To give you an idea of the hidden popularity of polo, that YouTube video has over 5,000 views, while this episode of Inside Rutgers football (and football was supposedly a big factor in their move to the B1G), has only 92 views:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMpybVkeIAU

Seems scientific to me.

 

[8893]

Post of the year.

 

[huskyniner]

This was Maker's Muppet level stuff. Pin this thread forever, or at least until it all gets done.

 

[RuffRuff]

If the Ville selection has shown anything, the one, two and three priority points - enhance the perception of the football program, whatever it takes. It is the trump card in all of this. At this point, the only conference that consistently gives a sh%t about academic integrity is the Big Ten and we're not getting in there. As most on this board dissected during the last FB HC hiring exercise, PP was a horrendous selection on a plethora of levels and could not have been a more poorly timed hire. Retread, past his prime, flat. It was time to take a risk, especialy with realignment in mind. A football program is only as good as it's HC and in PP Uconn showcased conservatism and no commitment to taking it's FB program to the next level. As nice a guy as he seems, PP feels like a Yankee conference kind of hire, a local guy with local high school ties. I honestly think if there was any one thing that would have made a difference in this particular spot, it would have been if the football program had built some momentum after Edsall. Not necessarily winning BE titles, but showing that it was trending upwards. Even in winning against Louisville this past weekend, god was it a horrible game to watch. Ville may be a paper tiger, but showing that you can throw the football down the field, putting up some points on offense builds a brand. That makes the highlight reel. Not grinding out defensive battles with an anemic offense. Perception.

So message here, move on and move on now. There is no room to "be patient" with PP, let him play with his "own" players. He is clearly not the guy and this last pass by the ACC is a message to that. Go out and find a coach who is willing to build this program with some energy, enthusiasm and point to the BCS world that Uconn deserves a spot at the table.

 

[RuffRuff]

If the Ville selection has shown anything, the one, two and three priority points - enhance the perception of the football program, whatever it takes. It's the only consistent variable at this point. The only conference that consistently gives a sh%t about academic integrity is the Big Ten and we're not getting in there. As most on this board dissected during the last FB HC hiring exercise, PP was a horrendous selection on a plethora of levels and could not have been a more poorly timed hire in retrospect. Retread, past his prime, flat. It was time to take a risk, especially with realignment in mind. A football program is only as good as it's HC and in PP Uconn showcased conservatism and no commitment to taking it's FB program to the next level. As nice a guy as he seems, PP feels like a Yankee conference kind of hire, a local guy with local high school ties, who cares. I honestly think if there was any one thing that would have made a difference in this particular spot, it would have been if the football program had built some momentum after what Edsall established. Not necessarily winning BE titles annually, but showing that it was trending upwards. Even in winning against Louisville this past weekend, god was it a horrible quality of football. Ville may be a paper tiger, but showing that you can throw the football down the field, putting up some points on offense builds a brand. That makes the highlight reel. Not grinding out defensive battles with an anemic offense. Perception.

So message here, move on and move on now. There is no room to "be patient" with PP, let him play with his "own" players. He is clearly not the guy and this last pass by the ACC is a message to that. Go out and find a coach who is willing to build this program with some energy, enthusiasm and point to the BCS world that Uconn deserves a spot at the table. The next move could be now, it could be a year from now, it could be 4 years from now and when it happens, there needs to be a statement made.

 

[Calhoun's Court]

Maybe Makers Muppet has returned !!!!

 

[HobokenHusky]

1) Defeat Cincy in the Leftovers Bowl on Saturday and accept our invite into some little postseason bowl game against a MAC team. Travel then becomes mandatory for all Connecticut residents not currently assisting infants, the elderly or handicapped (exceptions can be made for police, firemen, public transit operators, and conscientious objectors to football). UConn vs. Bowling Green in Tuscaloosa? Sounds like a killer ****ing road trip. Bring your friends. I hear Tuscaloosa is lovely this time of year.

2) Win the national title in soccer. Yeah - soccer titles don't mean anything, but I don't care. Banners make me feel good. Whoever complained about having too many ****ing banners lying around the place? That means beating Creighton at home this weekend to get to the College Cup - can we do it? Now's as good a time as any.

3) Defeat N.C. State at the Jimmy V Classic. Another hollow victory in the big picture, yes, but who ever complained about too many ****ing wins, either? We don't get a shot at Duke or Carolina this year - so this one will have to do. Just a little reminder to everyone that we aren't going anywhere yet, hoops-wise.

4) Geno can go 39-0 again. **** it, another banner. Along with men's soccer, that would get us to 16 national championship banners since 1981 (the start of the Big East). If we count polo, it would be an even 20.

5) **** it, let's start counting polo. It's an elitist sport - it'll remind people that we're ****ing elite around here. People think Duke is snobbish, but they don't even have polo. Peasants. Any league that takes us would know that they would be far better equipped to entertain the Queen of England. Even more so if she likes ice cream.

6) KO and staff need to find a big man for next year, so that they can win another title too and spit in the face of Mark Emmert. No big men on the recruiting trail? Go overseas - we have connections in Israel, Germany, Russia, plus wherever the entire 2006 team is playing now. Can't find one over there? Find one already in college with a sick grandma in Connecticut. Can only find one with a healthy grandma in Idaho? Move her to Connecticut and get her sick. We have a nice medical center in Farmington to take care of her. Grandma will be fine.

7) Fill the Rent in 2013. Every game. Don't care how. Don't want excuses. Red Sox and Yankees playing in the World Series Game 7? Free 4G iPads under every seat with MLB video access. Monsoon coming? Postgame mud-wrestling contest - UConn cheerleaders vs. Strippers (we're too desperate to care about misogyny, we need people in the seats). Our football team is unwatchable? Prison furlough program. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman were desperate for the chance to get outside and tar a roof - modern prisoners can suffer watching our offense for three hours.

8) Capital improvements - all the stuff we should have done after the twin titles in 2004 and beginning play in a BCS league when people were in a donating mood. Expand the Rent, build the hoops practice facility, build new baseball stadium, renovate the hockey rink, etc. If the money isn't in place yet, start digging some holes. And put up some big "coming soon" signs with pictures of pretty buildings. Holes are cheap. Maybe someone will donate the signs. Put a couple bulldozers nearby for show, and maybe some dudes in hardhats staring at random papers.

9) Get in this AAU thing. We are better academically than a good portion of schools in the AAU. How this has not happened already, I don't know, but apparently it is important to some people, so get in it. We're a top 20 public university in one of the wealthiest states in the country - other state schools shouldn't be in **** that we aren't in. If Yale has to put in a good word for us, we'll make them - we're bigger than they are.

10) Get an invite somewhere as pretty much the last team in, and then become the flagship program of that league. We did that once already.

LOLed at least 4 times. Well done sir.

 

[housekeys]

I can "summarize" your post with 1 word.

Here's what we need to do...WIN!

 

[Gurleyman]

I can "summarize" your post with 1 word.

Here's what we need to do...WIN!

Yeah - but what fun is that, posting-wise? Although I suppose you made it more fun with the big red letters. I will give you that. The big red letters could have emphasized some of my points, too:

"**** it, another banner"

Works better without the filter, but still not bad.

 

[Adios]

We also need to eloquently sell ourselves to fans of other B1G schools. The ACC is probably a lock at this point in time, since the Big 12 needs to expand and there are reports that the B1G will expand more. There's only four schools east of the Mississippi that the ACC can add right now. UConn, Cincinnati, USF and UCF.