Former players/parents dish on Newbauer | Page 2 | The Boneyard

Former players/parents dish on Newbauer

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What I've bolded is another good way to paraphrase what both @CocoHusky and I noted regarding victims not seeing what's happening. Sometimes victims don't realize this until it's too late.

Maybe the phrasing we used generalized things, but from what I was taught in high school and afterwards, it was always noted that victims may not even realize what's happening as the abuse can get worse over time. I also have women's shelters as business clients, where some of their clients have been kind enough to share their stories where they've said just as much.

The link below is from the Mayo Clinic and noted this in the opening part of their summary:

"It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time."


It may not be data, but it's an American source that can be verified. Hope this helps.
@cancontent Thank you so much for sharing this! I worked for a non-profit right after college and ran a matched savings program for low income households. We had a whole network of community organizations in NH that worked directly with folks in various capacities (housing, homelessness, etc.). I got to meet some of the participants and their families, which was really cool. At one point we even had to work with a few clients directly. Some of the stories were just tragic but it was so cool to see them in this program and manifesting a better life for themselves. Good on you for your work in that space too!
 
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You cannot imagine him saying anything that would alter your perspective on this? You don't think the players and their families might be presenting him in the worst possible light and themselves in the best? While I am not sure I would give him a ton of credibility at this point, there could certainly be some context about the players' complaints that would be informative (maybe they were known complainers; maybe they were troublemakers in the locker room, etc. - Not saying any of this is true, but I can imagine scenarios where context matters). Same with the assistant coaches' perspective.

I promise I am not trying to cape for Newbauer. I thought he was a bad hire, and I didn't think he was moving the program in the right direction. But to repeat myself, there is always more than one side to a story.
Oh totally. I'm not sure anyone is on here defending his behavior so I didn't take it that way. For me, I would answer No to anything him saying changing my perspective for this reason... Situationally, you are so right that context matters. If we looked at every individual 'event' there may be some exceptions. Systematically though, I don't think context matters when someone is being harmed. I'm way more cautious about "incidents" than I am about stories like this where it's more pervasive across his tenure.

Anyway, no right or wrong but hopefully that helps understand my thought process.
 
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I think that's fair. You would have to work pretty hard to not see a pattern. Contrast this to other coaches who are known to be "tough" (though I hesitate to even use that word to compare to Newbauer) -- folks like Pat Summitt, Geno, Dawn, Mulkey -- and it's just not that hard to make out the distinction between "tough" and "abusive jerk."
 
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Additional reporting by ESPN.


I didn't understand this section:

" "There's parts of every story that are exaggerated but I don't think anybody's lying," the source said.

He told ESPN that Newbauer's practices were "emotional" and "intense" and that the former coach's greatest issue was that he coached everyone the same, even those players who might not respond to "hard coaching." He added that he never witnessed anything that, to him, crossed the line."

It sounds like he's hedging/waffling. That's the vibe I get. It's like, "yes, but not as bad as you think." I don't understand how that helps to explain things. What am I missing?
 

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