"In a time when the Big East couldn't keep it's members, a new leader emerged"
And this time, he's NOT sending out roses...
("What? You tell Bowlsby to say that TO MY FACE!" *
slings cellphone into trashcan*)
A new league.
With a new attitude...
("Hey Swofford! *
punch to the face, straddles guy on ground, points:* You hear me GOOD: if there aren't SIX power conferences you jackass, there SURE AS HELL AIN'T FIVE!")
Double the teams.
Triple the action.
Quadruple the time zones...
(*
desperately being held back by ESPN security* "I'm comin' for YOU, Tirico! I'm comin' for YOU, Gilmore!")
(
cue 'heavy heartbeat' sfx)
One man.
Thirteen Colleges.
ONE DESIRE...
(*slow-dancing at a party with Andrea Adelson, drink in hand* "I told you we'd do it, didn't I?")
Mike Aresco stars in:
'Return of the BEast.'
Hoookay, I think I officially have
too much time on my hands today...