OT : Stupid things you're stupid at

Discussion in 'Off Topic Archive' started by Mano, Oct 29, 2016.

  1. Mano

    Mano Certified Bonehead

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    Conversing with the wife I again realized something I am just no good at (a long list to be sure). Anyway thought it'd be funny if we shared some of the things we just can't wrap our heads around.

    I swear I'm not dumb, at least I don't think so (uh-oh), and maths were something I used to be quite good at (most of it has frittered away from disuse), I was even a computer science and engineering student at UConn once upon a time. But the whole greater than/less than thing always escapes me. I swear I can never for the life of me remember which way that little arrow is supposed to go. That's it, I'll blame it on a faulty memory.

    So what are your stupid brain dumb things? Don't say their/there/they're or your/you're, that's just unforgivable.
     
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  2. husky8273

    husky8273

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    debit/credit
     
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  3. jleves

    jleves Awesomeness

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    Easy way to remember: which ever side is on the left tells you (consider we read left to right). Big end on the left is greater than, little end on the left, less than.

    for the record, I cannot wrap my head around the word supposed. I always want to type suppose instead.
     
  4. Shabizness

    Shabizness

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    The less than sign makes an L. <
     
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  5. RichZ

    RichZ Methuselah's older brother

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    I can't figure out how my new pacemaker battery is supposed* to last 8 to 10 years. If Apple, LG, Samsung et al made pacemakers, I would have a mini USB socket in my armpit and have to charge the damned thing every night. And worry about exploding in a fireball.

    I don't understand why there's no such thing as a rhetorical question mark. It's been tried many times over the last 400 years or so, but never really sticks.

    I'll never figure out female logic -- or what passes for logic in the head of a female.

    *( @Mano -- That's how it's used)
     
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  6. Rocktheworld

    Rocktheworld

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    Time to go back to 4th grade

    Pretend the symbol is an alligator! Alligators are always hungry and would rather eat the bigger thing! So whichever the alligator likes better is the bigger value!
     
  7. intlzncster

    intlzncster i fart in your general direction

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    You meant @jleves.
     
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  8. Robertelamin

    Robertelamin

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    (Bob) Coaching Football (Diaco)
     
  9. Mano

    Mano Certified Bonehead

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    You guys are cute for thinking you can teach me now. I could study for an hour and the next second it would fly right out of my head. Trust me my wife is an elementary school teacher and has tried many a time. @RichZ I think you meant that for @jleves.
     
  10. husky429

    husky429

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    It's a crocodile mouth. The crocodile eats the bigger one because it will be a bigger meal. Still use it to this day.
     
  11. Mano

    Mano Certified Bonehead

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    Another thing I suck at is knots. Yea, I can tie my shoes but don't ask me to anchor your boat or tie up your wife or anything. And I was a boy scout too.
     
  12. Conndog

    Conndog

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    "something I am just no good at" - I'd add grammar to the list. Never end a sentence with a preposition. It's something I won't put up with- wait, let me restate this correctly-

    It's something up with which I won't put.

    There, I feel better.
     
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  13. Horatio

    Horatio Will reclassify for food

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    I could never figure out the language/ rules of Sports gambling so I never did it. Lines , Odds , over under , etc. is all Chinese hieroglyphic algebra to me.
     
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  14. August_West

    August_West Resident Champion

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    Cars.

    I can write multiple types of computer code.

    I can rebuild a hard drive in a clean room.

    I've created wiring schematics for electric guitars that are used by other guitarists

    I build my own effects pedals ( not from kits either)


    .... I've never changed my own oil. And my wife refills the washer fluid.
     
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  15. Leebo

    Leebo

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    Posting on the boneyard.
     
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  16. Kitaman

    Kitaman

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    Changing my SUV wiper blades. Its supposed to be simple and when I remove the old one I carefully lay it down in the exact position the new one is supposed to go on.

    Takes me 20 minutes and multiple attempts. The last time the bare wiper snapped down on the windshield and cracked it. I took it to a garage. He put it on in 30 seconds (for free).

    Its a very simple process with detailed instructions but becomes a complicated puzzle for me.

    Which brings me to stupid #2. I hate reading instructions/manuals and love to wing it. Can't tell you how many times I have put something together only to realize that a piece was put on backwards, or too early/late and had to start over. Directions and illustrations are printed for a reason but I'm too stupid to read them.
     
  17. KingOPancakes

    KingOPancakes

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    "Small talk" has eluded me my entire life. If we're having an actual, real conversation I'm fine. I can talk for hours about things I'm passionate about or topics I'm familiar with.

    But with casual 5 minute conversations at a party or getting to know a coworker in the lunchroom I have no idea what to talk about.

    I always figured I would pick it up as I got older, but it just never happened.
     
  18. intlzncster

    intlzncster i fart in your general direction

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    These days, changing your own oil is the most overrated thing on the planet. It costs virtually the same as having someone do it for you, when you consider oil disposal and time.
     
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  19. intlzncster

    intlzncster i fart in your general direction

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    Make sure you put the thin rubber side against the windshield. If you do it the other way, the wipers won't work properly.
     
  20. 8893

    8893 Curiouser

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    As for the OP, doesn't the arrow always point to the lesser number? That's how I always remember it.

    As for what I'm stupid at: sense of direction. If I'm not the one driving, I pay zero attention to where we're going. If I am driving to someplace I don't know by heart already, I am following directions and I rarely have the sense to remember them, and my instinct is almost always wrong. Doubly so if walking.

    Navigation has been a God-send for me. It has also dashed any hope that I will improve.
     
  21. Minicoop69

    Minicoop69

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    Yes, or the opening always eats the bigger number. I teach math and that's how I get some lower ability kids to remember, but for everyone else just remember it. It's easier that way
     
  22. temery

    temery What?

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    It doesn't matter how many times I've done it, I can never remember which way is up when plugging in a USB cord.
     
  23. mauconnfan

    mauconnfan

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    Holding in my farts
     
  24. Dove

    Dove Vance comin'

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    My work day starts at 9. I simply cannot get to the office until 9:05. Or later. Just can't do it no matter how much I try.
     
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  25. dennismenace

    dennismenace ONE MORE CAST

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    I am not asked to "fix" things around the house anymore. We had the spray nozzle go on the sink quite a few years back
    and I bought a replacement. I could see that I was going to need to slice through the rubber base on the old nozzle. Good job
    for my buck knife. So instead of slicing the nozzle I sliced through my the thumb that was holding it and spent the better part of an
    afternoon at the emergency room and getting 13 stiches. Another time I went with my wife to Home Depot for a Christmas tree. This was a number
    of years ago and they always had great fresh trees that were already trimmed and were packaged in this mesh plastic. So
    I said let's get this one and started to walk out. Wife says wait, I want to see it without the mesh. So I get tired of waiting for help and get
    the bright idea to buy a box cutter and take care of it myself. I'm really impatient by this time and start slashing at the mesh and
    proceeded to slash my index finger. Back to the emergency room for another 7 or 8 stiches. The wife started calling me "Mr. Fix it" after that.
     
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  26. zyron

    zyron

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    Does your wife cut your food for you now?
     
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  27. intlzncster

    intlzncster i fart in your general direction

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    When you can get yourself 7+ stitches from a box cutter, you know you've got something special.
     
  28. Northbound

    Northbound

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    Gross/net, capex/opex, sports odds,
     
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  29. 80shusky

    80shusky

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    I have been pronouncing the word supposedly wrong my entire life. And I know it. I always pronounce it "supposobly". My parents are both English majors and my father is a writer. But I still can't pronounce it correctly. I even know it when I say it and it pisses me off. But it is stupid, and I'm stupid at it. Luckily, when I am making presentations I usually catch myself before I say it, and pronounce it correctly. All the other times, "supposobly". Doh!
     
  30. Huskybass

    Huskybass

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    I am an excellent bass fisherman. I really am, and humble too.

    I SUCKED at wood shop and metal shop in junior high school. Sucked as in would have failed both if I hadn't befriended the kids it came natural to and had them help me. Total stunod in the shop.

    I also really suck at getting back on a ladder to go down. Going up is no problem but getting back on the ladder is hell for me. That split second of uncertainty is my most uncomfortable feeling.
     
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