OT:Drunk kid wants his Mac and cheese at the Union | Page 12 | The Boneyard

OT:Drunk kid wants his Mac and cheese at the Union

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Hard for me to believe that anybody over the age of 45 doesn't wholeheartedly agree with this. From swearing, lack of "please, thank you, you're welcome," to overtly ogling women, to elimination of underage pregnancy stigma, young able people not working stigma, and on and on. Culture/society has changed a tremendous amount in the last few decades. Some good, some bad.

More interesting to me is where it's going to be in 20 years.

Yeah, when we want advice on how to treat women, we're definitely going to ask your generation.
 

joober jones

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This is getting deep.

I'll add that raising children a generation or two ago,, especially in the working class, used to involve fear. We loved and "respected" our parents. But that "respect" had a lot to do with fear.
Now, most of us have children that fear us a lot less then we feared our parents. When done well, there are relationships between parents and kids that include more trust, communication, and real respect.
But when you remove the fear without instilling boundaries you get miserable kids that the parents can't control. No kid really wants no boundaries, no matter how much they say they do.

Are we going to hell in a hand basket? NO Are there some problems from these changes? Yes. But there are more improvements too. Generational poverty and teen pregnancy are a whole separate conversation


Sometimes that fear factor is a good thing... at least to the point that a kid will be afraid to do certain things for fear of the punishment it would bring on, or hopefully the previous punishments teaching them the action is wrong for bigger reasons than just a punishment. So many kids today walk all over their parents. I can recall multiple occasions where I've seen kids swear at and even hit their parents with no reaction beyond gentle requests to fall in line. I've also seen times where this behavior was rewarded by way of it actually breaking the parents down and giving the kids what they wanted.

I fully agree with David on the need to reach the point of mutual trust, communication, and true respect. Parents may piss their kids off with punishments and yelling, but as these kids mature they learn from their mistakes and will respect their parents for taking the time to teach them right from wrong and help them grow into respectful and respectable people.
 

CL82

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Mmm, I think it was less fear of punishment and more fear of disappointing our parents and letting them down in light of all they had done us. For better or worse that's gone as a motivator. Perhaps because this generation saw less of the struggle to accumulate wealth.
 

David 76

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The best thing about old-timey parenting was that all adults were on the same team. Your parents, aunts & uncles, neighbors, people in the stores all saw it as their right to call you out if you were acting like an idiot.
Now people don't know their neighbors, everybody minds their own business, parents fight teachers too much. The "takes a village" piece is pretty much dead. I try hard to get parents to talk to their kids friends' parents. Call if your kid is going over someone's house. Tough to get people to do that these days
 
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I received this email from a friend in Louisiana. Here's the entire email:

Subject: What happens in Storrs.....

At L.S.U., this kid would have been given his “f###in’ mac-and-cheese” and asked if he needed any ice cubes in that open container.
 

temery

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No way kids are worse today. In my dorm, a kid went beserk because the music was too loud and couldn't study. On a Thursday night. So he smashed a beer mug against the wall and threatened to slice another dudes throat with the jagged remains. Did they toss him? No, they just moved him from the 2nd floor to the 4th floor. In with me.

I worked for Campus Police in the 80's. Three football players came back from a night of drinking, and beat a kid into a coma. They had to attend "meetings," and couldn't live on campus.

The kid/parents won a nice lawsuit vs the school. But that was it. They were not tossed out.

Bottom line: I agree - No way kids are worse today.
 

David 76

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I am hoping you mean that the victim and his parents won a lawsuit.
 
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And we don't throw people away. Especially when they are 19

While I agree, 'we don't' but I would have to believe that the parent would like to (at least until he gets his act together). Some young adult children are a drain and the peace that immediately comes over the house in their absence is absolutely worth doing anything for.

I've seen parents pay 1st 3 months rent, and the unsuspecting landlord thinks they are getting a good tenant with a nice advance. Please "take my kid" events happen everywhere in this case the parents got UMass and then UConn to do it. They are probably more pissed having to take him back vs the public exposure.

Just saying when you are on the outside its one thing but having to live with 'the problem' is another, and options are limited.
 
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No way kids are worse today. In my dorm, a kid went beserk because the music was too loud and couldn't study. On a Thursday night. So he smashed a beer mug against the wall and threatened to slice another dudes throat with the jagged remains. Did they toss him? No, they just moved him from the 2nd floor to the 4th floor. In with me.

So basically you got a dedicated student as a roommate? Lucky you!
 

David 76

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While I agree, 'we don't' but I would have to believe that the parent would like to (at least until he gets his act together). Some young adult children are a drain and the peace that immediately comes over the house in their absence is absolutely worth doing anything for.

Just saying when you are on the outside its one thing but having to live with 'the problem' is another, and options are limited.
Agree. It is too easy to trash parents. And not all out of control kids have bad parents. And you just can't just allow your kid to do unacceptable things in your home. Paying for their college while they get drunk and arrested, is never a good option.
 

4in16

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Still plenty of versions on YouTube, the original with over 2.5 million views got pulled.
 

joober jones

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Mmm, I think it was less fear of punishment and more fear of disappointing our parents and letting them down in light of all they had done us. For better or worse that's gone as a motivator. Perhaps because this generation saw less of the struggle to accumulate wealth.

That's what I was getting at here
"the previous punishments teaching them the action is wrong for bigger reasons than just a punishment. "
 

Waquoit

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So basically you got a dedicated student as a roommate? Lucky you!

He was a peach. Took speed all day then bong hits after midnight until he fell asleep. Never once shared. He only went off on me once, though. Just because I used his only facecloth to clean up a beer spill.
 
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The "Luke’s Mac N Cheese” added to the specials.
The menu offering may last, but university officials may reasonably nick the campus restaurant's reference to the punk by name.
 

ShakyTheMohel

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No way kids are worse today. In my dorm, a kid went beserk because the music was too loud and couldn't study. On a Thursday night. So he smashed a beer mug against the wall and threatened to slice another dudes throat with the jagged remains. Did they toss him? No, they just moved him from the 2nd floor to the 4th floor. In with me.

Do you and freescooter still stay in touch?
 
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The best thing about old-timey parenting was that all adults were on the same team. Your parents, aunts & uncles, neighbors, people in the stores all saw it as their right to call you out if you were acting like an idiot.
Now people don't know their neighbors, everybody minds their own business, parents fight teachers too much. The "takes a village" piece is pretty much dead. I try hard to get parents to talk to their kids friends' parents. Call if your kid is going over someone's house. Tough to get people to do that these days

To me this is a lot of the problem. Just weird in a world with so many ways to connect we don't feel very connected anymore. We're kind of lucky here as our neighborhood - particularly in the last six months - has really started coming together. Kids play in each other's yards, randomly show up on our doorstep, parents take turns doing pick up/drop off for stuff. We have some kooky empty nesters across the street who are basically 65 year old hippies who are in everyone's business all the time... my neighbor to our right was a single dude who JUST retired from the CT state penal system.. he was in charge off solitary. He finally met a really nice woman a year ago and they date.. he is a big trash picker, so we always find great thigns for the kids on our porch randomly.

Bottom line though - everyone knows where the kids are, what they're doing and I don't think anyone doesn't think they can't drop on someone else's kid when they're acting like turds. So we're really lucky that way - but our neighborhood wasn't always like that. There was a year or two that we lived here and basically knew one neighbor. I STILL can't tell you the names of people four-five houses down from me.
 
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Kids play in each other's yards, randomly show up on our doorstep, parents take turns doing pick up/drop off for stuff.

I'm only 24 but I haven't seen kids playing outside for about 10 years now. It baffles me, as we were always playing football or wiffle ball out in the street. You have a great neighborhood if you actually see kids playing outside and heading over to doorsteps asking if kids can play.
 
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I'm only 24 but I haven't seen kids playing outside for about 10 years now. It baffles me, as we were always playing football or wiffle ball out in the street. You have a great neighborhood if you actually see kids playing outside and heading over to doorsteps asking if kids can play.
I'm 25 and I know what you're talking about.

But Xbox Live didn't exist when we were wiffle ball age. 8 yearold kids "socialize" on Call of Duty after school and on weekends now. They don't need the outside. They don't need neighbors. They're just living in a totally different time.
 
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I'm 25 and I know what you're talking about.

But Xbox Live didn't exist when we were wiffle ball age. 8 yearold kids "socialize" on Call of Duty after school and on weekends now. They don't need the outside. They don't need neighbors. They're just living in a totally different time.

Our routine was backyard football, go home for dinner, head to our friends house and play xbox, wait until it got dark, play manhunt, and go home. Every. Single. Night in the summer. We did this from 8-13 years old. I really think it's a matter of kids' sole physical activity coming from organized sports instead of learning to play in the neighborhood
 

CAHUSKY

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I'm only 24 but I haven't seen kids playing outside for about 10 years now. It baffles me, as we were always playing football or wiffle ball out in the street. You have a great neighborhood if you actually see kids playing outside and heading over to doorsteps asking if kids can play.
Move to Tahoe. It's like fricken Mayberry here. Everyone knows their neighbors, kids go in and out of neighbors houses looking for cookies and play on the streets all day. It really is awesome.
 

ctchamps

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I'm only 24 but I haven't seen kids playing outside for about 10 years now. It baffles me, as we were always playing football or wiffle ball out in the street. You have a great neighborhood if you actually see kids playing outside and heading over to doorsteps asking if kids can play.
I'm 25 and I know what you're talking about.

But Xbox Live didn't exist when we were wiffle ball age. 8 yearold kids "socialize" on Call of Duty after school and on weekends now. They don't need the outside. They don't need neighbors. They're just living in a totally different time.
Have a kid your guys age. Lot of folks my age made similar statements regarding kids your age. I told them they were looking in the wrong places.

It's easy to generalize. See the thread about girls at baseball game.

I think there are some truisms. Kids have more time to enjoy life than say a couple of centuries ago. And over the last fifty or so years the number of things that are available to kids has grown exponentially. The latter change means that you won't be finding the numbers of kids doing the same things and that is what I believe the two of you are noticing which is the same thing my contemporaries were noticing.
 
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Have a kid your guys age. Lot of folks my age made similar statements regarding kids your age. I told them they were looking in the wrong places.

It's easy to generalize. See the thread about girls at baseball game.

I think there are some truisms. Kids have more time to enjoy life than say a couple of centuries ago. And over the last fifty or so years the number of things that are available to kids has grown exponentially. The latter change means that you won't be finding the numbers of kids doing the same things and that is what I believe the two of you are noticing which is the same thing my contemporaries were noticing.

I think it has a lot to do with organized sports. Kids go to football or baseball practice after school and don't want to play backyard versions of those sports on days they don't have practicel
 

ctchamps

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I think it has a lot to do with organized sports. Kids go to football or baseball practice after school and don't want to play backyard versions of those sports on days they don't have practicel
That certainly is a part of reason. I think there are other factor as well.
 
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